Today's Top Five List


Introduction:

Wouldn't it be nice if only a few of our pet peeves were made illegal? Each one of us would be able to enjoy our corner of the world much more.

Blue Eye Shadow

Seriously! Sorry folks, but it doesn't look good. It didn't look good back in the day and it certainly doesn't look good now. Stop wearing it!

Punishment should be 5 to 10 years of wearing a beehive hairstyle.

Driving Miss Daisy

Go already. Please don't be pokey. A nice steady speed that doesn't impede the flow of traffic. There are two lanes - a go lane and a go fast lane. Both of them were designed to "go" in.

Punishment should be 15 to 25 years in the backseat of a driver's ed car.

Non-Stop Blinking

If you're not going to turn, don't turn on your blinker. After you turn, turn off your blinker. See how simple that is.

Punishment should be the same as those driving Miss Daisy - with time off for stopping this annoying practice.

Snoring

Sleeping peacefully should be available to every living creature. Without noise. Without the bed shaking. Without the neighbors calling to ask that we not trim the trees at two in the morning.

Punishment should be sleeping with a chain saw for 25 years to life. Sleeping with the fishes is too good for snorers.

Poor Taste

Sweatpants and cowboy boots do not go together. Pink flamingos belong in a zoo, not your front yard. If your jewelry sets off metal detectors, you are probably wearing too much of it.

Punishment should be 15 years of being surgically attached to Martha Stewart, with time off for improved taste.

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Comments

  • Nerdse 12/21/2010

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    Not knowing the difference between "its" & "it's", "there," "they're," & "their," & using a possessive for a plural (& vice versa) should be illegal, especially in public signage & official documents. Punishment should be living for one year with an English geek for each offense. Organizations who allow this should have to pay back their bailouts at accelerated interest & on accelerated schedules.

  • Traqqer 12/13/2010

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    C'mon, I think blue eye shadow is hot...it get's me excited anyway. But I agree, the non-stop blinking drives me nuts.

  • MiddleSister 10/24/2010

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    Your punishments are great. Especially the Martha Stewart one.

  • Belafonte 10/12/2010

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    I totally agree with number one!! Those people need help!

  • DonnaThacker 9/29/2010

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    I guess the list is a hit because we all agree with you!

  • EmmaRileySutton 9/26/2010

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    Please add to it. We may not be able to change the laws, but we can certainly vent!

  • dmcgaw 9/25/2010

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    Great list. Totally made me laugh.

  • LindaBatey 9/25/2010

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    How about those pants that say "juicy" across the butt? For some reason, people with muffin tops think these look good, especially with a short shirt. I've get to see ANYONE who can pull this look off!

    Great list Emma!

  • ListMaker 9/25/2010

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    I LOVE this list. Can we add to it, please? How about the word AIN'T an 'I ain't going to school no mo...' How about naming children Apple? China? Oh, this is a great list!

  • Kklowell 9/25/2010

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    I know you intended this as humor, but, come on...blue eye shadow should be seriously illegal. Truthfully though, I chuckled for every one of these.

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