If you've received a Christmas fruit cake from someone who thinks they're doing a good thing, perhaps they really are...there are so many uses for the things and below are five you might want to try. I'm sure there are many of you who can come up with more, but these are the ways I've used them.
Whenever you need to keep a door open, in order to bring in groceries, a Christmas tree, suitcases, etc., fruitcakes wrapped in tinfoil make a perfect doorstop. You can even decorate the foil with artificial foliage of the season, so that when not in use as a doorstop, it functions as a decorative piece.
This usage of a fruitcake for a football is only valid with the loaf style fruitcakes, not the round ones. Round ones are too hard to catch, whereas a loaf cake can be carved with an electric knife into a football shape, wrapped in press and seal wrap, and used to play a few games before that big Christmas dinner. However, be careful how it's thrown, due to possible injury to children and pets.
Brining a turkey is fast becoming a major method of preparing the annual Turkey feast. One of the steps in the brining process is to keep the turkey submerged in ice cold fluid. You can do this by putting a plate on top of the turkey, and setting that nice fruitcake you've just received from Aunt Emma on the top to weigh it down. Believe me, that turkey will stay submerged.
We all know there are times when you feel the need for some protection beside your bed as you sleep. In preference over a gun, try keeping a few fruitcakes by your bed. If someone steals up on you in your sleep, grab a fruitcake and clobber them with it. Of course, try to make certain it's not your sweet husband or children, before you clobber. Be prepared to make an emergency room run, just in case.
Garden pavers are absolutely the best use for those fruitcakes you receive at Christmas. If you get enough of them, or save them from year to year, you can soon have enough to line your garden paths, build flower beds, or build a bridge. The possibilities in the garden are endless, with a mixture of round and loaf fruitcake pavers. Plus the fact that you've eventually enriched the environment, all with no cost to you.
Didn't get the cake this year! A high five for your list for next year!
I hope I don't receive a fruitcake this year, but if I do, you have some good suggestions here!
This is hilarious! So glad I haven't seen a fruitcake in years.
Very funny, Nancy! I realize I'm in the minority, but at great personal sacrifice I'll volunteer my freezer for all your unwanted fruitcakes;)(And if it turns out to be one of the few I don't like, well, I do need some pavers in my garden, too!)
These are hysterical! Also the only good uses for a fruitcake. Thanks for making me laugh first thing in the morning!
This absolutely hilarious, Nancy! The poor maligned fruitcake -- and yet so deserved! Love this list!
Very nice ideas. If all else fails, I bet fruitcake would work in the compost pile too.
As soon as I saw the word "fruitcake" in the title, I knew I'd be in for a good laugh. Love it. -- the humor, not the fruitcake!
But I like fruitcake.., well, I like some fruitcake! Nancy I have to tell you dear that there is an accolade with your name on it and it's right around the corner - GO FINISH YOUR PROFILE! You'll see! ;)
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