Today's Top Five List


Introduction:

If you've received a Christmas fruit cake from someone who thinks they're doing a good thing, perhaps they really are...there are so many uses for the things and below are five you might want to try. I'm sure there are many of you who can come up with more, but these are the ways I've used them.

Doorstop

Whenever you need to keep a door open, in order to bring in groceries, a Christmas tree, suitcases, etc., fruitcakes wrapped in tinfoil make a perfect doorstop. You can even decorate the foil with artificial foliage of the season, so that when not in use as a doorstop, it functions as a decorative piece.

Football

This usage of a fruitcake for a football is only valid with the loaf style fruitcakes, not the round ones. Round ones are too hard to catch, whereas a loaf cake can be carved with an electric knife into a football shape, wrapped in press and seal wrap, and used to play a few games before that big Christmas dinner. However, be careful how it's thrown, due to possible injury to children and pets.

Turkey Brining

Brining a turkey is fast becoming a major method of preparing the annual Turkey feast. One of the steps in the brining process is to keep the turkey submerged in ice cold fluid. You can do this by putting a plate on top of the turkey, and setting that nice fruitcake you've just received from Aunt Emma on the top to weigh it down. Believe me, that turkey will stay submerged.

Protection

We all know there are times when you feel the need for some protection beside your bed as you sleep. In preference over a gun, try keeping a few fruitcakes by your bed. If someone steals up on you in your sleep, grab a fruitcake and clobber them with it. Of course, try to make certain it's not your sweet husband or children, before you clobber. Be prepared to make an emergency room run, just in case.

Garden Pavers

Garden pavers are absolutely the best use for those fruitcakes you receive at Christmas. If you get enough of them, or save them from year to year, you can soon have enough to line your garden paths, build flower beds, or build a bridge. The possibilities in the garden are endless, with a mixture of round and loaf fruitcake pavers. Plus the fact that you've eventually enriched the environment, all with no cost to you.

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Comments

  • dashboardc33 1/6/2011

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    hehe :)

  • IzzyDuncan 12/28/2010

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    Didn't get the cake this year! A high five for your list for next year!

  • IzzyDuncan 12/15/2010

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    I hope I don't receive a fruitcake this year, but if I do, you have some good suggestions here!

  • hummingbirdee 12/15/2010

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    This is hilarious! So glad I haven't seen a fruitcake in years.

  • LWCox 12/10/2010

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    Very funny, Nancy! I realize I'm in the minority, but at great personal sacrifice I'll volunteer my freezer for all your unwanted fruitcakes;)(And if it turns out to be one of the few I don't like, well, I do need some pavers in my garden, too!)

  • DenaBolton 12/9/2010

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    These are hysterical! Also the only good uses for a fruitcake. Thanks for making me laugh first thing in the morning!

  • bossypants 12/8/2010

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    This absolutely hilarious, Nancy! The poor maligned fruitcake -- and yet so deserved! Love this list!

  • ListingToTheLeft 12/8/2010

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    Very nice ideas. If all else fails, I bet fruitcake would work in the compost pile too.

  • JoyceTeresaMann 12/8/2010

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    As soon as I saw the word "fruitcake" in the title, I knew I'd be in for a good laugh. Love it. -- the humor, not the fruitcake!

  • ElaineChastain 12/7/2010

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    But I like fruitcake.., well, I like some fruitcake! Nancy I have to tell you dear that there is an accolade with your name on it and it's right around the corner - GO FINISH YOUR PROFILE! You'll see! ;)

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