Ways to Make Safe Contact With a Dating Site Person

Relationships - Dating
By: jseven    
20-Jan-2011

Introduction:Dating sites are a very common way to meet people these days and sometimes can be very unsafe. They are a magnet for scammers, spammers, players and frauds. You need to be "net smart" when using a dating site.

  • 01

    Check Him or Her Out

    Once you have had contact with someone on a dating site and decide to continue, do your homework and check that person out. You need to thoroughly read their profile a few times with a keen eye and wise heart.

    Here are some potential read flags for me:

    No picture.

    Profile too long, congested and tons of misspelled words.

    No essay about themselves, they say they will fill in the answers later but two weeks later, it's still not done.

    Grandiose claims (work out 5 hours a day, has a yacht, house in three states, he's never met anyone so beautiful, will only date people way younger, knows umpteen famous people or thinks he wants to marry you after one or two contacts.

    Types in all caps.

    Need money.

    Wants someone to "complete" them.

  • 02

    Message For a While

    Stay on the dating site and message back and forth until you feel ready to move to email. Many fraudulent people try to move to Yahoo chat or somewhere that they know is not monitored like the dating site.

    Never move on if you feel pushed or prodded to do that. If they balk at staying on the site? Red flag right there.

  • 03

    Ask Questions

    If a person is willing to answer questions, they have nothing to hide. Asking the same questions a few times can expose lies. I once asked a guy the same question over a one week period and he had a different answer each time. He lied at the end and told me he never said that. (it was chat so I had no written answers)

    Chat is not always the best form of communication because of this reason.

    I reported him after finding two more profiles that looked almost identical to his. The site moderators discovered he was using different names and contacting several women. He told me he was a widow and a very sad story about his wife's death. They banned him.

  • 04

    Move to Email

    If things are going well and you feel secure enough to move to an email, create an email just for this purpose. There are ways to make a secure business email that does not reveal your personal information. Change your password occasionally; or if you feel unsafe at this point. You don't have to use your real name, nor should you do that with a new friend. Last names are not wise to give at first, either.

  • 05

    Phone

    If it gets to making a phone call, do so in secure way. Many of the dating sites offer secure phone call services which are great. Women who use their own phones should ask for the man's number and use *67 before dialing his number. Your number will be blocked from his view when you do this.




Final Thoughts

Don't hesitate to report someone to the moderators if you sincerely feel it's neccesary.

When you move to meeting in person, drive yourself and meet in the daytime at a populated place. Use tips from others who have gained experience from online dating.


Supporting Links



Comments

  • jseven 1/22/2011 Flag This Comment

    Good for you, ListMaker! I don't think it's so much about where as who. :)

  • ListMaker 1/22/2011 Flag This Comment

    Great tips for making safe contact with a dating site person. I met my fabulous very significant other boyfriend on Craigslist of all places. But, man, I was safe AND leery for a very long time. 3 years later we're going strong. It can be done.

  • tamron 1/21/2011 Flag This Comment

    Great online meeting and dating tips!

  • jseven 1/21/2011 Flag This Comment

    Thanks Priscilla, it is tough.

  • PriscillaBenfield 1/21/2011 Flag This Comment

    I feel for anyone who is looking for a partner and uses online dating sites. I thank god for my husband every day because I cannot imagine having to go through this process. Excellent tips on how to do this. High 5 and I shared it on Facebook because I know many who are going this route.

  • IzzyDuncan 1/21/2011 Flag This Comment

    Good suggestions! In these times, I think I'd hire a PI to investigate!!

  • hummingbirdee 1/20/2011 Flag This Comment

    These are important concerns about online dating. There have been many bad experiences that have happened with a dating site person.

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