Tremendously Funny Jokes

Humor - Jokes
By: goodselfme    
06-Mar-2013

Introduction:These do not belong to the author of this list, but honor cannot be given to the person who constructed these since they are not known. Enjoy the laughs and smiles this humor can create.

  • 01

    One Thought Political Jokes

    The best bartender joke ever begins with an introduction and the bartenders words. A lawyer, an Illegal Alien, a pathological liar, a Muslim, a Communist and black guy walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you mr. president?"
    Nancy Pelosi, Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton are all traveling together in Air Force one. Nancy says, I can easily make 100 people happy by dropping 100 one dollar bills from this plane. To do her story one better, Hillary says I can make them even happier by dropping 100 $5 dollar bills. Obama says I have you both beat since I would drop 100 ten dollar bills from the plane making one hundred people happy. Hearing the ideas from the cockpit, the captain says:"I can make millions happy by dropping you three off right here".

  • 02

    True Interview

    Major General Cosgrove is an Australian who was recently interviewed on the radio, by a female broadcaster who was questioning Major General Cosgrove about children and guns. There was a boy scout troop visiting his military headquarters and the Major General Cosgrove explained all the things he would introduce to these boy scouts. He mentioned he would teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and also shooting. The ABC radio interviewer picked up on the shooting right away and stated that was a bit irresponsible for him to be teaching shooting. Major General Cosgrove replied that the scouts would be taught proper rifle discipline before even touching a firearm. The female interjected that the Major General Cosgrove was equipping them to become violent killers. Major General Cosgrove quickly responded, "Well Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?". After 46 seconds of silence the interview was over.

  • 03

    Prayers from an Old Lady

    One day at church a man was waiting for the service to begin as he sat next to an old lady who was praying out loud, but in a whisper like voice. She spoke loud enough that her prayers were overheard to say the following. " Dear Lord, this has been a tough three years or more for me. You have taken my favorite actor, Patrick Swayze, my favorite musician, Michael Jackson, my favorite salesman Billy Mays, my favorite actress of all time, Elizabeth Taylor and now you have my favorite announcer Dick Clark as well. I just wanted you to know that my favorite politician is Barack Obama. Amen"

  • 04

    The Bible Answers It

    A couple were disagreeing about the chores of the house. The lady of the house said the Bible can answer all our arguments. "Well", said the husband, "This is one that cannot be". The wife continued with her statements about the husband should be the one who gets the coffee started since he was the first up in the house. The husband resented that idea and told the wife it is her duty to get the coffee since she was in charge of cooking. He continued and said he would wait until she got up to make his coffee, but added a snide look at the end of that statement of proposed patience. The wife said the Bible does address this topic and the husband demanded her to prove that to him. As she picked up the Bible she quickly turned the pages to the New Testament where the book stipulated "Hebrews".

  • 05

    They Are Not In Agreement

    A husband and wife were out for their weekly drive, but today was different. They left the house not in agreement to where they were going and so had not said very many words for many miles. Both were stubborn and did not want to be the first to break the silence, so it continued for quite some time. The time passed and each held firm to their position of being right without talking to the other. The day was clear and the sun was shinning brightly as they passed a farm and a barnyard filled with mules, goats and pigs. The husband saw his chance and sarcastically blurted out to his wife. "Relatives of yours?". "Yep", the wife quickly retorted "In - laws".


Comments

Post A Comment

Submit Comment



Need a Top Five List Idea?

select one here...

  • The Top Five Baby Bags for Moms
  • The Top Five Candle Scents for Summer Time
  • The Top Five Websites for Artists
  • The Top Five Ways to Stop Smoking
  • The Top Five Ways to Turn Down a Job Offer
  • The Top Five Presidents of the United State ...
  • The Top Five Quotes From the Movie Elf
  • The Top Five Foods for Diabetics
  • The Top Five Hair Removal Options
  • The Top Five Motivational Speakers
  • The Top Five Places to Find a Job
  • The Top Five Tips on How to Make Money Onli ...
  • The Top Five Ways to Get a Grant
  • The Top Five iPhone Apps
  • The Top Five Designer Handbags
  • The Top Five Must See Events in Las Vegas
  • The Top Five Places to Retire
  • The Top Five Bealtes Songs beatles songs Wr ...
  • The Top Five Country Singers of All Time
  • The Top Five Healthiest Fruits
  • The Top Five Stresses of Home Ownership
  • The Top Five Jewelry Stores
  • The Top Five Rules for a Strong Relationshi ...
  • The Top Five Things to do Before your 60 Ye ...
  • The Top Five Ways to Get a Phone Number
  • The Top Five Talk Shows on TV
  • The Top Five Home Improvement Tips for Sell ...
  • The Top Five Candy Bars With Peanut Butter
  • The Top Five Tips for New Businesses
  • The Top Five Songs About Texas
  • The Top Five Professions
  • The Top Five Websites for Music
  • The Top Five Five Music Genres
  • The Top Five Healthy Recipes
  • The Top Five Ways to Relieve Stress
  • The Top Five Career Moves for Teachers
  • The Top Five Educational Websites for Kids
  • The Top Five Ways to Save Money
  • The Top Five Movies of All Time
  • The Top Five Ways to Prevent Skin Cancer
  • The Top Five Book Series for Young Adults
  • The Top Five Clues for Crossword Puzzles
  • The Top Five Books to Read This Year
  • The Top Five Places to Buy Electronics
  • The Top Five Wedding Favors
  • The Top Five Card Games for Four Players
  • The Top Five Ways to Keep Unwanted Pests Ou ...
  • The Top Five Websites for Kids
  • The Top Five Cell Phones Under 50 Dollars
  • The Top Five Funniest Movies For Kids
  • The Top Five Schools for Business Managemen ...
  • The Top Five Overseas Bed and Breakfast Sto ...
  • The Top Five Restaurants
  • The Top Five Bedroom Decorating Ideas
  • The Top Five Foods For an Upset Stomach 
  • The Top Five Most Influential Sports Figure ...
  • The Top Five Ways to Keep your Lawn Green
  • The Top Five Wedding Websites
  • The Top Five Days During the Year
  • The Top Five Unhealthy Foods for Dogs 
  • The Top Five Traditional Thanksgiving Dishe ...
  • The Top Five Reasons to Invest in Running S ...
  • The Top Five Funniest Jokes
  • The Top Five Places to Find Crazy Video Cli ...
  • The Top Five Sporting Events
  • The Top Five Smart Phones of the Year
  • The Top Five Candle Scents for Winter 
  • The Top Five Knock Knock Jokes
  • The Top Five Places to Live
  • The Top Five Reason to Rent
  • The Top Five Business Marketing Tips
  • The Top Five Items you Can’t Live Without
  • The Top Five Ways to Earn Money Online
  • The Top Five Causes of Road Rage
  • The Top Five Teeth Whitening Tips
  • The Top Five Photo Editing Websites
  • The Top Five Ways to Avoid Unemployment
  • The Top Five Websites for Discount Vacation ...
  • The Top Five Creative Ways to Announce a Pr ...
  • The Top Five Tips for Healthy Blood Pressur ...
  • The Top Five Michael Jackson Songs
  • The Top Five Healthiest Snacks
  • The Top Five Diet Pills
  • The Top Five Fast Food Restaurants
  • The Top Five States to Live In
  • The Top Five Dog Breeds for Kids
  • The Top Five Places to See in the World
  • The Top Five Hair Products Women Must Have
  • The Top Five Xbox 360 Games
  • The Top Five Outdoor Activities
  • The Top Five Quotes to Live by
  • The Top Five Board Games for Groups
  • The Top Five Places to Get a Student Loan
  • The Top Five Reasons to Vote During Electio ...
  • The Top Five Video Games
  • The Top Five Car Maintenance Checklist
  • The Top Five Pets you Should Own
  • The Top Five Reasons For Leaving a Job
  • The Top Five Steps on How to Make a Website ...
  • The Top Five Healthy Meals For Under 5 Doll ...
  • The Top Five Hair Products
  • The Top Five Books for the Kindle
  • The Top Five Funniest People
  • The Top Five Movies With a Twist
  • The Top Five Paint Colors for a Home
  • The Top Five NFL Football Stadiums With A D ...
  • The Top Five Makeup Tips for Teens
  • The Top Five Tips for Planting a Garden
  • The Top Five Simple Smart Phones
  • The Top Five Wedding Gowns
  • The Top Five Soft Drinks
  • The Top Five Pasta Recipes
  • The Top Five Steps on How to Get a Date
  • The Top Five California Landmarks
  • The Top Five Tax Mistakes People Commonly M ...
  • The Top Five Funniest Websites
  • The Top Five Things to See in Dallas Texas
  • The Top Five Online Flower Delivery Compani ...
  • The Top Five Superheroes
  • The Top Five Prom Dresses
  • The Top Five Pasta Recipes for Kids
  • The Top Five Luxury Cars
  • The Top Five Commercials
  • The Top Five Job Opportunities for People W ...
  • The Top Five Helpful Hints to Get Pregnant  ...
  • The Top Five Ways to Improve your Resume
  • The Top Five Budget Mistakes Most People Ma ...
  • The Top Five Clothing Lines for Modest Clot ...
  • The Top Five Most Influential Speeches
  • The Top Five Online Gaming Sites
  • The Top Five Sources for Vitamin D
  • The Top Five Ways to Invest in Real Estate
  • The Top Five Auto Insurance Companies
  • The Top Five Nascar Drivers
  • The Top Five Greatest NBA Players of All Ti ...
  • The Top Five Creative Ways to Ask a Girl to ...
  • The Top Five Dessert Recipes
  • The Top Five Home Air Purifiers
  • The Top Five Items you Never want to Lose
  • The Top Five Places to Mountain Bike
  • The Top Five Places to Find Cheap Books
  • The Top Five Steps on How to Save Money
  • The Top Five Reasons you Should Play Fantas ...
  • The Top Five Tips for Newlyweds
  • The Top Five Ways to Update your Home Witho ...
  • The Top Five Ways to Cope With Stress
  • The Top Five Gaming Consoles
  • The Top Five People you Would Want to Meet
  • The Top Five Computers for College Students ...
  • The Top Five Signs that You are in Love
  • The Top Five Steps on How to Avoid Credit C ...
  • The Top Five Tips for Staying Positive
  • The Top Five Health Insurance Companies
  • The Top Five Reasons Smoking is Bad
  • The Top Five Ways to Workout your Upper Bod ...
  • The Top Five Cartoons for Toddlers
  • The Top Five Ways to Stay in Shape
  • The Top Five Planets in the Solar System
  • The Top Five Free Places for Veterans to Ea ...
  • The Top Five Attractions in the USA
  • The Top Five Car Seat Safety Tips
  • The Top Five Songs About Love
  • The Top Five Carpet Cleaning Tips
  • The Top Five Things I've Learned from Britt ...
  • The Top Five Youtube Videos for 2010 
  • The Top Five Wedding Themes
  • The Top Five PGA Golfers
  • The Top Five Funniest Movies Ever
  • The Top Five Foods That Help you Lose Weigh ...
  • The Top Five Movies of 2010
  • The Top Five Cities to Live in
  • The Top Five Places to get French Fries
  • The Top Five Five Smart Phones
  • The Top Five Shampoos
  • The Top Five Tips for New Parents
  • The Top Five HDTV brands
  • The Top Five Nuts that go in Salad
  • The Top Five Ideas for Anniversary Gifts
  • The Top Five Most Hated Celebrities
  • The Top Five Vacation Spots
  • The Top Five Universities for MBA
  • The Top Five Safest Cities in America
  • The Top Five Places to get a Free Credit Re ...
  • The Top Five Vitamins for Hair Growth
  • The Top Five Walt Disney Movies
  • The Top Five Golfing Tips
  • The Top Five Ways to Build Muscle
  • The Top Five Google Apps
  • The Top Five Chicken Recipes
  • The Top Five Skills Needed for a Career in ...
  • The Top Five Healthiest Choices for Breakfa ...
  • The Top Five 4th of July Party Ideas
  • The Top Five Facts About the Sun
  • The Top Five Places for Kids Birthday Parti ...
  • The Top Five TV Shows of All Time
  • The Top Five New York Hotels
  • The Top Five Most Trusted Cars
  • The Top Five Designer Shoe Brands for Women ...
  • The Top Five Things to do at Disneyland
  • The Top Five Ways to Earn Money as a Colleg ...
  • The Top Five Ways to Keep Track of Spending ...
  • The Top Five Advice for New Moms
  • The Top Five Xbox 360 Kinect Games for Exer ...
  • The Top Five Steps on How to Potty Train Yo ...
  • The Top Five Places for Discount Furniture ...
  • The Top Five Financial Mistakes People Make ...
  • The Top Five Online Social Networks
  • The Top Five Holidays
  • The Top Five Spyware Removal Systems
  • The Top Five Ways to Improve your Health
  • The Top Five Ways to Find Cheap Flights Onl ...
  • The Top Five Steps to Internet Security
  • The Top Five Inventions That Changed the Wo ...
  • The Top Five Mistakes Parents Make With Kid ...
  • The Top Five Foods to Avoid when Trying to ...
  • The Top Five Ways to Get a Loan
  • The Top Five Steps to Home Security
  • The Top Five Websites for Photographers
  • The Top Five Things you Should Not do in an ...
  • The Top Five Harry Potter Movies