Introduction:Whether you are out in the public, or meandering through the forest, you should heed these warings
People think of unicorns are friendly creatures, but the reality is that they are extremely violent pieces of trash and are racist against all of the Zebras.
This came to me in a dream, so it must be true. If Irish Wolfhounds are left on New Zealand for 1,000 years in the absence of people, they will develop into a technologically advanced, dog-like humanoids and very war-like.
If you tip a waiter or waitress that winks at you, there is absolutely no doubt that they will follow you home that evening and light your house on fire.
Hiking through the forest is all good and fun until you crack your knuckles, and a grizzly bear rushes out of the brush and bites your ankle off without explanation.
First of all, it's disgusting and distracting to you and your fellow morons. Secondly, it might send a germaphobe spiraling into a rage only matched by Michael Douglas in Falling Down.
Heed my dire warnings and live.
select one here...