I don't always quote myself, but when I do, this is what I say.
I have been a human being for most of my life.
I have never been mistaken for an aardvark. At least not to my knowledge.
I sometimes read books. But sometimes I do not.
As a natural born man, I find it impossible to ask for directions or read instructions.
Try as I might, I can never come up with five things to say about myself.