Reasons Football Is Stupid

Sports - Football
By: MiddleSister    

Introduction:I realize that listing reasons that American football is stupid will not make me popular. However, I do think football is stupid, and here's why.

  • 01

    Vicarious Couch Potatoes

    A bunch of sedentary, beer guzzling, pizza chomping fans* watch an NFL football game from their living rooms. This in itself is unhealthy for the fans.

    When their favorite team wins, the fans think it is their win. Some people get all wrapped up in a vicarious game that they aren't even playing. Their identity comes from being a fan of a certain team. It is not you who win, football fan, it is the actual players who play on the field.

  • 02

    Rattled, Pumped Up Players

    Football players may take drugs and may get repeated head injuries. That's stupid. Is it really worth it?

    Football players feel pressure to take steroids to get and stay huge. Looking at NFL teams and how mightily muscled they are, it is hard to believe that performance enhancing drugs are not in use. Anabolic steroids and other performance enhancing drugs come with severe health risks.

    Football players get concussions a lot. The brain injury that is common in football players has long lasting negative effects for the football player.

  • 03

    Time Waster

    Think of all the time people waste watching football, reading about football, talking about football, and so on. That's a whole heck of a lot of wasted time that could be spent on more constructive pursuits, like paying attention to your family, doing work, and being creative.

  • 04

    Money Drainer

    Do you have your favorite player's jersey? It'll set you back about $75. What about his NFL football bobble-head? That'll cost you $20 to $30. NFL tickets cost hundreds. Then there are the terrible towels, cheeseheads, coffee mugs with NFL insignia, wall hangings, couch throws, and more! NFL football paraphernalia costs you lots of bucks! I'm telling you, football is stupid.

  • 05

    Vapid Use of Airtime

    "So, Coach Bob, what do you think about tonight's game?"

    "Well, Joe, we just didn't get our defense going the way we should have. Our plays were good, but not quite strong enough."

    Do we really need to use up radio and TV time for this drivel? Football reporting is pretty stupid.

Final Thoughts

* Oh, I know. Not all football fans chomp pizza and guzzle beer. But you know it's true that junk food and football viewing go together.

Supporting Links


  • GBR10 8/2/2017 Flag This Comment

    Oh man. This is some low hanging fruit. Let's start picking.
    1.) By this logic we should never celebrate anyone's accomplishments but our own. Oh, your kid scored a 34 on his ACT? Who cares? It's not your score. Your best friend is getting married? Big deal! It's not your wedding! The politician you voted for is becoming President? Big flippin' whoop! You're not going to be President!
    2.) Yes, performance enhancing drugs are an issue in all of sports. I do not condone the use of them. However, how many great artists use hallucinogenic drugs for "inspiration?" I guess all of art is stupid.
    3.) What are your favorite hobbies? Let me tell you what a gigantic waste of time they are.
    4.) We're all adults here and are perfectly capable of deciding how to spend our own money. One man's trash is another's treasure. You may think it's a waste of money, but many of us consider the cost of tickets to a great game to be money well spent.
    5.) In case you haven't heard, there's 200 billion channels

  • tracysmith159 4/20/2014 Flag This Comment

    Hey I thought it was funny and some good points too. Fall in line with boxing too. Too many hits to the head isn't worth all the money in the world. I love life too much I guess. There is just too much to see. Then again I'm happy to not live with any sport nuts. My husband and teen boys are more neards I guess. That's OK with me!

  • chanson 2/17/2013 Flag This Comment

    This list is clearly not from a sports fan. I'd love to see "5 reasons why football is stupid" coming from someone who loves other sports because I find that each of these reasons is very general and could apply to any sport. I think football is pretty stupid too, but not because people waste time and money on it (I don't care to admit how much time and money I spend on hockey, I LOVE hockey) but because football bores me and I think that it is so over hyped and glamorized in America. I know there are true football fans out there, but I feel like a lot of them watch it just becaus that is the thing to do. The superbowl has become something akin to a holiday and it's hardly even about actual football anymore. Football player have been turned into celebrities. And people make it out to be the toughest sport, when it's really not. No, I don't hate football, but I can't call myself a fan either. But I don't think your list is fair. If it were called, "5 reasons why I hate sports" that woul

  • dptstretch 10/20/2012 Flag This Comment

    My dear friend, I don't know what the proper penance is for this sort of blaspheme.

  • Harrybob99 3/28/2012 Flag This Comment

    1) Ridiculous. We don't think it's OUR win, the players should be much more happy than we are, and they ARE.

    2) Do you seriously think they're all on steroids? If you do, get yourself CHECKED OUT. It's not like the NFL doesn't have any drug tests. The only reason you're so surprised to see those kind of muscles is because English Football players probably play grabass for warmup, or whatever.

    3)So you're just going to dis a business racking up billions among billions of dollars a year, helping our economy? Think of how huge a branch football is for our American economy. Nonsense. That's like putting the smartphone industry out of business because people spend a lot of their time talking about and using their smartphones.

    4)Once again, football is a HUGE moneymaker and boosts our economy lots. It's one of the reasons America is such a powerful country. /dis mode off

    5)Football is a sport. Players and coaches need to know what they need to improve on to bring their game to the next l

  • JB91 3/19/2012 Flag This Comment

    How come they wear pads and helmets? It isn't half as rough as rugby, and they don't wear any helmets

  • GeorgeSommers 9/17/2011 Flag This Comment

    A big H5 on this one - I never got what all the big fascination is with football and when I confess my ignorance of the sport, people look at me like I'm some kind of freak!

  • snowfence 3/20/2011 Flag This Comment

    LOL I had to zoom back up to the top of the page to see if this article was published in the funny section. H5

  • Amberdawn 2/14/2011 Flag This Comment

    I agree. Hate it. Thank goodness my fiance is European; I'll never have to cope with the football game being on in the background :D

  • nwgirl 2/3/2011 Flag This Comment

    I love your list and it's so true, but I admit I watch football from time to time. At least we don't have any gigantic D-(fence) signs in our living room...

  • ListingToTheLeft 1/26/2011 Flag This Comment

    You took the words right outta my mouth. HATE football. LOVE this list!

  • ListMaker 1/26/2011 Flag This Comment

    Sweetie, if I could give you a 100 high 5's I would have! I have hated football for at least 40 years. I particularly hate the fans who believe it's THEIR win - you're right on with this list. Football fans, get over it!

  • PriscillaBenfield 1/26/2011 Flag This Comment

    I am not ashamed to say that I wish I wrote this list. High 5!! I am a football widow. GREAT list!

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