Introduction:When death stares us in the face it is always a shock. We build our lives to believe that we will live forever and that death will come later-when we are ready. We all like to believe that we will grow old and die in our sleep just shortly after the passing of our spouse and it will be peaceful. No one ever wants to think about losing a child or dying before that golden age. Sometimes we know its coming. Sometimes it comes when you least expect it. In any case, losing someone you love is never easy for anyone. In the case of terminal illness death may be a relief but there is still a grief that lasts.
We cannot believe that this is happening. Death seems unreal especially if it is a young person. We isolate ourselves from the rest of the world because they couldn't possibly understand our loss and the way everyone else just goes on about their lives is irritating. Life is not the same.
Dear God, How could you take him? He was so young, so full of life. He had a family that loved him and he was a good man. Why would you do that to him? to us? What have we ever done to deserve this? Those Doctors should have known. They should have seen it and prevented his dying!
I'll do anything to bring her back. I just want to see her and hold her. Take me instead. If I do everything right in my life then you won't take anyone else I love right?
I just want to pull the covers up over my head. I don't want to go out with friends. It's all I can do just to go to work. I feel numb. I don't feel anything, not sadness, not joy - nothing.
OK. I have to go on. He would want that. He wouldn't want me sitting here feeling sad. I want to do something that will show him how much I loved him. I don't want people to forget.
The death of someone you love stays with you. You don't "get over it". You do get to decide how it stays with you though. You can choose to focus on the pain of the loss or you can choose to embrace the fact that their Spirit NEVER leaves you. Instead of mourning their absence, accept their presence. Remember their joys and see them there. When you are at the ball game, in a garden in the summer, hiking a mountain, or just having a meal together, remember what gave them joy and celebrate that. Travel to the places that they loved. Do some of the things that you used to enjoy together. Make a plan to do good things in their name. When you accomplish these things it brings them back to you if only for a moment. You can just see them smile.
Back to give you a H5.
Stopping for a visit and dropping another h5 for you too.
Nice list Miri, I will say this, once we realize the source from which we all came, and that there really is no such thing as "death" it takes the sting away somewhat, but that does not stop us from missing the physical, earthly presence, of a loved one who has made the transition from this existence to the next ..
This is truly a great list of stages of grief. H5
I love your list on the stages of grief. Everyone grieves in different ways. I'm sure this will help people who are grieving with the loss of a loved one.
Thank you for your comment Goodself. It comes from the heart. I hope to help someone else.
I like your list and the personal note of how we deal with grief and death. Well done and with sincerity and gentleness.
select one here...