Fun Quotes

Humor - Jokes
By: goodselfme    
07-Nov-2013

Introduction:Do you need a laugh? Here are more than five funny quotes to get you smiling and laughing out loud too. Enjoy the entertainment and pass them along to help the world be a better place with laughter.

  • 01

    People Say the Darnist Things

    I am sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I thought you already knew that. Sometimes you have to burn some of the bridges in life. This actually stops some crazy people from following you. there are days in the work week when the best thing about a job is the fact that the chair you have under you, spins. When the owner of a restaurant says the soup of the day is "Whiskey", you better not plan on working the rest of the day. You know the soup de' jour will be wonderful and prevent returning to work at all. My chemistry teacher says that alcohol is a solution. Now that is really technical, but it sure puts a unique label on alcohol for me to wrap my hands around.

  • 02

    Labels and Such Everywhere

    With the labels getting so technical these quotes are certainly understandable to solve some problems. I am not saying to kill all the stupid people. I am suggesting to remove the warning labels and the problem with stupid people will actually solve itself with the end results. People might really pay attention to using their brain instead of leaning on someone else to do their thinking. What a novel idea that would be for a change. Did you ever feel that tingling feeling when you like someone? That is determined to be common sense leaving your body. If it keeps happening, you know you are done for. For all the paranoid people who sneak a peek behind their shower curtain before stepping one foot in there; I have one question. "What is your plan if you see someone in there?"

  • 03

    Little Changes Make Big Differences

    I was having an awful time on the road with people not responding to my horn. I now have a horn that sounds like a gun shot and I can see a huge difference in people's response now since I did that. I really should have done that years ago. Now I recommmend that to all my friends because of the immediate results I get on the road. If you are a bachelor and have a cat, use that cat wisely. Hold the cat up to the moth and the cat will catch and kill the moth for you without much trouble. It is easier than you trying to catch it. When the words drink responsibly come to my ears, I think that means to be careful and not spill any of that alcohol.

  • 04

    Women and Ladies and Their Parents

    There used to be a time, not so long ago that women were touted as being the great cooks like their mothers are. Now times have changed and more woman can drink like their fathers ever did. What an accomplishment for women to have made such strides in their lives. Boy scouts are supposed to be prepared. Women and girls don't like making plans because then the word premeditated gets into the court recordings. When you admit to yourself that you did not make it to the gym another day you might discover something else. It might be now five years that you have said that to yourself. My mother kept asking me "How stupid can you be?" She stopped saying that because I kept trying to see how stupid I could be.

  • 05

    Body Language

    Something about a woman's body language that gives her mood away. For instance if she is silent, and motionless, run while you can. You probably don't know what you did, but if you stick around, you might never find out either. If her hands are holding a gun; consider her angry. If she has a do not disturb signs around her neck, don't go near her until the sign is removed. when I enter the fitness center, I know why I am there. It is to judge. I know this because I begin that act as soon as I enter the building each time I go there. An innocent person who says there is no such question as a stupid one, never worked in the customer service department.







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