Introduction:Here you are on a platform where you will laugh away your sorrows.
A certain man and his wife were in court to get a divorce. The problem was who should get custody of the child. The wife jumped up and said:' Your Honour, I brought the child into the world with pain and labour.She should be in my custody' The judge turns to the husband and says 'What do you have to say in your defence?'The man sat for a while contemplating, then slowly rose.'Your Honour, if I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Coke comes out, whose Coke is it, the machines' or mine?
A particular Igbo man went to holy land and visited the Sea of Galilee. When asked to take a boat, he asked- how much? "$500" said the boatman. "Chineke!!!!" Great God !!! screamed the Igbo man "'No wonder Jesus walked on this water!"
PASTOR: "If there is anybody here that does not want this couple to be Joined together in holy matrimony, he or she should speak out now or remain silent forever."
A man from the extreme of the church stood up and walked towards the alter. As the bride saw the man coming closer, she fainted. The bridegroom and the whole congregation were in confusion. When the man got to the front, the pastor asked, "why don't you want these people to be joined together?" Man: "I could not hear your voice clearly from the back sir, so I decided to come and tell you that the speaker is faulty !!!"
Are you 30yrs old and you don't have your own car, then you have to recheck yourself.This is because Jesus had one when he was 30yrs as the Bible recorded that "They were in one ACCORD ...(HONDA)" though the color is what we don't know.
Late Stella Obasanjo was the wife to the former President of Nigeria !!!
On the death of Stella Obasanjo, she went to heaven, as she stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
She saw huge wall of clocks behind her. She asked, "What are all those clocks?"
St Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you tell a lie, the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said Stella, "whose clock is that?" "That's Bishop Ajayi Crowther's. The hands have never moved, indicating that he never told a lie."
"Incredible," said Stella. "And whose is that one?" St Peter responded, "That's Nnamdi Azikwe's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Zik told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where is my husband Obasanjo's clock?" asked Stella. "Obasanjo's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan because of its speed".
select one here...