Introduction:I got these emailed to me so I have no idea who actually to give the credit for the enormously great content. Have yourself a good laugh at these lawyer jokes.The email stated that they came from a book called"Disorder in the American courts".The author is unknown from the material I received. These are public responses said on the court records.
Attorney: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
Witness: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Attorney: And why did that upset you?
Witness: My name is Susan.
This is actual record information documented as facts that were said in a court of law. The dialog is between a lawyer and the person in the witness box.
Attorney: This Myasthenia Gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
Attorney: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
Witness: I forget
Attorney: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
Can you imagine the court recorder keeping a straight face while typing this dialog in the court?
Attorney: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
Witness: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
Are you wondering if the lawyer answered that question? Can you imagine the uproar in the courtroom after this question was asked?
This is a smart guy answering and wondering if the attorney is all there.
Attorney: The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?
Witness: He's 20, much like your IQ.
If you agree with the witness, raise your hand. If you can't imagine such a side show in the courtroom raise both hands.
The court reporter apparently still kept typing when all this conversation was being exchanged.
Attorney: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Witness: Are you s-------g me?
Now the blanks stand for letters so fill in those blanks as I am sure you can.From this response from the witness, the witness was in the picture.
Very funny. I enjoyed this one too. Thanks for making me laugh. Well done.
Thanks for the laughs today! My favorite is #4!
Too funny, sad that people actually said these things.
Good lawyer jokes.
These are pretty funny!
select one here...