Sayings I Swore I'd Never Say

Humor - General
By: ListMaker    
13-Jan-2011

Introduction:Ever found yourself quoting sayings that you heard when you were younger and your parents were "old?" Remember thinking "I'm never going to say that; it so retarded sounding?" If so, you're in fine company; I thought I'd NEVER say some of the stuff that bursts out of my mouth these days. Sadly, I'm now peppering my speech with these sayings that make me look (and feel) so old. The below sayings are ones I swore I'd never say, let alone, write about...

  • 01

    Back In My Day

    This one is wrong on a lot of different levels. First off, I'm so old that I really don't remember what happened 'back in my day.' I think I might have walked uphill both to and from school, but the newspaper stuffed in my shoes distracted me so I didn't mind.'Back in my day' was a long long time ago and it shows when this one is mumbled under my breath.

    Second off, I'm not dead yet so isn't today 'my day' anyway? What happens 30 years from now? Do 'my days' increase or are they always waaaaay back when?

  • 02

    The Kids Today

    This one usually precedes an exasperating clause of whatever got me started followed by a barrage of expletives. Such as 'The kids today ARE RUDE #$#$$%^,' or 'The kids today can't read &^%$#$#@.'

    The last time I use this saying was when a teenage clerk was busy talking on the phone with her girlfriend - (what are YOU going to wear? NO YOU CAN'T WEAR THAT! Did you know BRAD is going to be there! No my Mom says I can't go.'.....For real!) and trying to give me change at the same time. She misread the receipt and gave me the amount I'd spent instead of the amount I should have gotten as change. AND, when I interrupted her conversation to tell her she gave me the wrong change (and was going to be $73 short in her till -what, she asked impatiently, was a till?), I got a dirty look. I took my $73 and went home and donated it that afternoon to the animal shelter. Just seemed like the right thing to do, although, upon reflection, maybe I should have sent it to an educational society.

  • 03

    For Heaven's Sake

    This one just makes you sound OLD unless, of course, you're 20 and then it's cute as all get out. And, whomever utters it, I suppose it's a whole lot better than cursing. Maybe not...

    And, what the heck does "For Heaven's Sake" mean anyway? Is there a "For Hell's sake?"

  • 04

    Oopsi-Daisy

    And, its cousin Whoopsi-daisy!

    Oh boy, does this one date ya. It ranks right up there with calling a couch a davenport. I caught myself saying this the last time I tripped as I shuffled my feet getting out of bed.

  • 05

    I Remember When

    This one makes me nostalgic as my college roommate had it printed on a gold necklace as a graduation present to me. I've long lost it (or forgotten where I put it). But, 'I remember when' she gave it to me.




Final Thoughts

To date myself even further, I still like big station wagons with wooden panels (a woody we used to call it - stop thinking that and laughing). I remember when car were painted in a color called 'Burgundy wine' and when harassment used to be pronounced the right way (rhymes with...um... nothing... but it was pronounced harASSment and not HARassment.

The supporting documents down below are all humorous writings so take 'em for what they're worth (which is not much...).


Supporting Links



Comments

  • dptstretch 12/8/2013 Flag This Comment

    I say all of those...proudly! :)

  • goodselfme 12/8/2013 Flag This Comment

    I am coming back with another h5 and reading this once more for old times sake.

  • goodselfme 3/3/2011 Flag This Comment

    Great humor which is always wonderful no matter how old it is. Thank you.

  • litetender 3/2/2011 Flag This Comment

    I always swore I'd never say to my children, "Because I said so" ... but I did say that once or twice!

  • PriscillaBenfield 1/16/2011 Flag This Comment

    I am NOT turning into my mother. I'm NOT!

  • IzzyDuncan 1/15/2011 Flag This Comment

    Yikes. Does this mean I really AM old?!

  • jseven 1/14/2011 Flag This Comment

    Ha ha! Yup, for heaven's sake! :)

  • bossypants 1/14/2011 Flag This Comment

    Well, ain't it the truth? When I hear some of these things (and others) coming out of my mouth, I about turn around: expecting it was really my mother, behind me, saying them!

  • ListMaker 1/14/2011 Flag This Comment

    Oh my gosh! I LOVE LOVE LOVE the comments on this list. Might have to do a list 5 of my favorite comments ever. You guys win. And lifetender, I chose not to breed but I do care for my elderly Mom. I asked her to do something just yesterday and she didn't want to. She asked me why she had to do it. 'Because I said so' cracked us both right up!

    Good Golly Miss Molly - time's, they are a changin'

  • penelope7 1/14/2011 Flag This Comment

    Fantastic list. I am sooooo glad you taught that clerk a lesson. That should have cleared her rude ignorance. But you're right, sometimes we are just compelled to say 'em. "Great Land O' Goshin'" as little Abner would say! H%

  • BonnieDossKnight 1/13/2011 Flag This Comment

    This list is hysterical. I simply cannot quit laughing. Oopsi-Daisy is precious. Remember when Hugh Grant said it? HI5

  • litetender 1/13/2011 Flag This Comment

    We called them "beavers", not woodies. I've no idea why. My favorite saying I swore i'd never say is "Because I said so" to my children. I hated it when my parents said that to me, swore I never would say that, but ... I did ... at least once or twice.

    *I*, by the way, walked to school barefooted in the snow ... or at least it SEEMS like I must have ....

  • ListingToTheLeft 1/13/2011 Flag This Comment

    Land sakes! I'm tickled pink that you wrote this list!

  • JoyceTeresaMann 1/13/2011 Flag This Comment

    Oh no! I am guilty of all of the above. Don't worry, I've never taken anything from the till!

Post A Comment

Submit Comment



Need a Top Five List Idea?

select one here...

  • The Top Five Overseas Bed and Breakfast Sto ...
  • The Top Five Teeth Whitening Tips
  • The Top Five Signs that You are in Love
  • The Top Five Ways to Prevent Skin Cancer
  • The Top Five Funniest People
  • The Top Five Advice for New Moms
  • The Top Five Reason to Rent
  • The Top Five Career Moves for Teachers
  • The Top Five Ways to Keep your Lawn Green
  • The Top Five Ways to Keep Unwanted Pests Ou ...
  • The Top Five Things to do at Disneyland
  • The Top Five Ways to Improve your Health
  • The Top Five Creative Ways to Announce a Pr ...
  • The Top Five Ways to Improve your Resume
  • The Top Five Free Places for Veterans to Ea ...
  • The Top Five Reasons to Invest in Running S ...
  • The Top Five Quotes From the Movie Elf
  • The Top Five Holidays
  • The Top Five Tips for Staying Positive
  • The Top Five Superheroes
  • The Top Five Shampoos
  • The Top Five Websites for Discount Vacation ...
  • The Top Five Ways to Get a Loan
  • The Top Five Places for Kids Birthday Parti ...
  • The Top Five Mistakes Parents Make With Kid ...
  • The Top Five Card Games for Four Players
  • The Top Five PGA Golfers
  • The Top Five Simple Smart Phones
  • The Top Five Health Insurance Companies
  • The Top Five Home Air Purifiers
  • The Top Five Unhealthy Foods for Dogs 
  • The Top Five Carpet Cleaning Tips
  • The Top Five Causes of Road Rage
  • The Top Five Steps on How to Get a Date
  • The Top Five Traditional Thanksgiving Dishe ...
  • The Top Five Wedding Themes
  • The Top Five Steps to Home Security
  • The Top Five Ways to Build Muscle
  • The Top Five Bealtes Songs beatles songs Wr ...
  • The Top Five Financial Mistakes People Make ...
  • The Top Five Makeup Tips for Teens
  • The Top Five Steps to Internet Security
  • The Top Five Things you Should Not do in an ...
  • The Top Five States to Live In
  • The Top Five Youtube Videos for 2010 
  • The Top Five Healthiest Fruits
  • The Top Five Websites for Music
  • The Top Five Funniest Movies For Kids
  • The Top Five Presidents of the United State ...
  • The Top Five Ways to Update your Home Witho ...
  • The Top Five Foods That Help you Lose Weigh ...
  • The Top Five Places to Get a Student Loan
  • The Top Five Online Social Networks
  • The Top Five Car Seat Safety Tips
  • The Top Five Tips for New Businesses
  • The Top Five Places to get a Free Credit Re ...
  • The Top Five Places to Mountain Bike
  • The Top Five Nuts that go in Salad
  • The Top Five Nascar Drivers
  • The Top Five Creative Ways to Ask a Girl to ...
  • The Top Five Luxury Cars
  • The Top Five Gaming Consoles
  • The Top Five Jewelry Stores
  • The Top Five Funniest Jokes
  • The Top Five TV Shows of All Time
  • The Top Five Vitamins for Hair Growth
  • The Top Five Ideas for Anniversary Gifts
  • The Top Five Google Apps
  • The Top Five Places to Find a Job
  • The Top Five Tips for Healthy Blood Pressur ...
  • The Top Five Books to Read This Year
  • The Top Five Websites for Artists
  • The Top Five Places for Discount Furniture ...
  • The Top Five Ways to Invest in Real Estate
  • The Top Five Tips for Planting a Garden
  • The Top Five Quotes to Live by
  • The Top Five Designer Handbags
  • The Top Five Steps on How to Save Money
  • The Top Five Healthiest Choices for Breakfa ...
  • The Top Five Movies With a Twist
  • The Top Five Restaurants
  • The Top Five Fast Food Restaurants
  • The Top Five HDTV brands
  • The Top Five Country Singers of All Time
  • The Top Five Ways to Keep Track of Spending ...
  • The Top Five Ways to Stop Smoking
  • The Top Five Inventions That Changed the Wo ...
  • The Top Five Items you Can’t Live Without
  • The Top Five Xbox 360 Games
  • The Top Five Cities to Live in
  • The Top Five Rules for a Strong Relationshi ...
  • The Top Five Ways to Save Money
  • The Top Five Places to Retire
  • The Top Five Prom Dresses
  • The Top Five Helpful Hints to Get Pregnant  ...
  • The Top Five Cell Phones Under 50 Dollars
  • The Top Five Ways to Relieve Stress
  • The Top Five Pets you Should Own
  • The Top Five Pasta Recipes
  • The Top Five Movies of All Time
  • The Top Five Car Maintenance Checklist
  • The Top Five Funniest Websites
  • The Top Five Reasons to Vote During Electio ...
  • The Top Five Candle Scents for Winter 
  • The Top Five Dog Breeds for Kids
  • The Top Five Ways to Get a Phone Number
  • The Top Five People you Would Want to Meet
  • The Top Five Online Gaming Sites
  • The Top Five Steps on How to Avoid Credit C ...
  • The Top Five Ways to Stay in Shape
  • The Top Five Golfing Tips
  • The Top Five Video Games
  • The Top Five New York Hotels
  • The Top Five Tips for Newlyweds
  • The Top Five Five Smart Phones
  • The Top Five Smart Phones of the Year
  • The Top Five Home Improvement Tips for Sell ...
  • The Top Five Spyware Removal Systems
  • The Top Five Soft Drinks
  • The Top Five Dessert Recipes
  • The Top Five Professions
  • The Top Five NFL Football Stadiums With A D ...
  • The Top Five Diet Pills
  • The Top Five Songs About Love
  • The Top Five Schools for Business Managemen ...
  • The Top Five Healthy Meals For Under 5 Doll ...
  • The Top Five Outdoor Activities
  • The Top Five Book Series for Young Adults
  • The Top Five Websites for Photographers
  • The Top Five Reasons For Leaving a Job
  • The Top Five Chicken Recipes
  • The Top Five Michael Jackson Songs
  • The Top Five Business Marketing Tips
  • The Top Five Wedding Favors
  • The Top Five Designer Shoe Brands for Women ...
  • The Top Five Greatest NBA Players of All Ti ...
  • The Top Five Motivational Speakers
  • The Top Five Places to Find Crazy Video Cli ...
  • The Top Five Attractions in the USA
  • The Top Five Budget Mistakes Most People Ma ...
  • The Top Five Ways to Find Cheap Flights Onl ...
  • The Top Five Ways to Earn Money as a Colleg ...
  • The Top Five Computers for College Students ...
  • The Top Five Cartoons for Toddlers
  • The Top Five Facts About the Sun
  • The Top Five Vacation Spots
  • The Top Five Knock Knock Jokes
  • The Top Five Healthiest Snacks
  • The Top Five Job Opportunities for People W ...
  • The Top Five Most Trusted Cars
  • The Top Five Songs About Texas
  • The Top Five Ways to Avoid Unemployment
  • The Top Five Planets in the Solar System
  • The Top Five Safest Cities in America
  • The Top Five Foods For an Upset Stomach 
  • The Top Five Hair Removal Options
  • The Top Five Books for the Kindle
  • The Top Five Harry Potter Movies
  • The Top Five Must See Events in Las Vegas
  • The Top Five Reasons Smoking is Bad
  • The Top Five Talk Shows on TV
  • The Top Five Websites for Kids
  • The Top Five Wedding Gowns
  • The Top Five Sporting Events
  • The Top Five Universities for MBA
  • The Top Five Funniest Movies Ever
  • The Top Five Most Influential Speeches
  • The Top Five Ways to Get a Grant
  • The Top Five Steps on How to Make a Website ...
  • The Top Five California Landmarks
  • The Top Five Ways to Earn Money Online
  • The Top Five Reasons you Should Play Fantas ...
  • The Top Five Skills Needed for a Career in ...
  • The Top Five Items you Never want to Lose
  • The Top Five Clues for Crossword Puzzles
  • The Top Five Candle Scents for Summer Time
  • The Top Five Steps on How to Potty Train Yo ...
  • The Top Five Commercials
  • The Top Five Tips for New Parents
  • The Top Five Auto Insurance Companies
  • The Top Five 4th of July Party Ideas
  • The Top Five Sources for Vitamin D
  • The Top Five iPhone Apps
  • The Top Five Things to See in Dallas Texas
  • The Top Five Places to Live
  • The Top Five Foods for Diabetics
  • The Top Five Stresses of Home Ownership
  • The Top Five Most Influential Sports Figure ...
  • The Top Five Tax Mistakes People Commonly M ...
  • The Top Five Walt Disney Movies
  • The Top Five Candy Bars With Peanut Butter
  • The Top Five Wedding Websites
  • The Top Five Tips on How to Make Money Onli ...
  • The Top Five Hair Products
  • The Top Five Educational Websites for Kids
  • The Top Five Clothing Lines for Modest Clot ...
  • The Top Five Pasta Recipes for Kids
  • The Top Five Things to do Before your 60 Ye ...
  • The Top Five Ways to Cope With Stress
  • The Top Five Places to Find Cheap Books
  • The Top Five Baby Bags for Moms
  • The Top Five Places to Buy Electronics
  • The Top Five Board Games for Groups
  • The Top Five Foods to Avoid when Trying to ...
  • The Top Five Five Music Genres
  • The Top Five Healthy Recipes
  • The Top Five Ways to Turn Down a Job Offer
  • The Top Five Paint Colors for a Home
  • The Top Five Days During the Year
  • The Top Five Most Hated Celebrities
  • The Top Five Places to get French Fries
  • The Top Five Hair Products Women Must Have
  • The Top Five Online Flower Delivery Compani ...
  • The Top Five Ways to Workout your Upper Bod ...
  • The Top Five Bedroom Decorating Ideas
  • The Top Five Photo Editing Websites
  • The Top Five Xbox 360 Kinect Games for Exer ...
  • The Top Five Things I've Learned from Britt ...
  • The Top Five Movies of 2010
  • The Top Five Places to See in the World