Reasons to Move to the Goldilocks Planet

Humor
By: JoyceTeresaMann    
01-Oct-2010

Introduction:Scientists tell us they've discovered the Goldilocks Planet, a planet that is "just right" for life. Whether you're bored, underpaid or just can't stand your neighbor's yappy little dog, the Goldilocks Planet may be your place in the sun -- um, a different sun of course.

  • 01

    Get Away from Dysfunction Junction

    Moving twenty light years from Earth might be just the ticket if your family members are a pain in the ___. What with e-mail, Skype and airline fare sales, those nasty relatives are too close for comfort -- no matter where on Earth they may be skulking.

  • 02

    Be a Big Fish In a Little Pond

    If the Goldilocks Planet is just right for life, then there has to be water. Right? Find yourself a nice little lake and start building your extra-terrestrial empire. Think of it as trumping Trump.

  • 03

    End Grating TV Commercials

    Since only Earthlings are crazy enough to invent and then stare endlessly at a flickering box, you will never again hear the rapid-fire, "may cause nausea, heartburn, insanity, birth defects in the pups of your neighbor's yappy little dog, and death by firing squad on a rainy afternoon in June. Take only as directed."

  • 04

    Rewrite History

    Don't like the way the Punic Wars ended? Don't know -- or care -- what the Punic Wars were? No problem! You can write your very own version of the history of Planet Earth and any life forms on the Goldilocks Planet will never know the difference.

  • 05

    Name the Goldilocks Planet the Goldilocks Planet

    Why should some doofus on Planet Earth get all the credit for coming up with this name? You're the one taking all the risks! Once you arrive, find yourself a nice little nook and relax. Not too hard, not too soft -- but somewhere just right!





Supporting Links



Comments

Post A Comment

Submit Comment



Need a Top Five List Idea?

select one here...

  • The Top Five Tips for Newlyweds
  • The Top Five Ways to Improve your Health
  • The Top Five Sporting Events
  • The Top Five Ways to Prevent Skin Cancer
  • The Top Five Chicken Recipes
  • The Top Five Board Games for Groups
  • The Top Five Places to See in the World
  • The Top Five Ways to Relieve Stress
  • The Top Five Photo Editing Websites
  • The Top Five Free Places for Veterans to Ea ...
  • The Top Five Websites for Artists
  • The Top Five Overseas Bed and Breakfast Sto ...
  • The Top Five Dog Breeds for Kids
  • The Top Five iPhone Apps
  • The Top Five Luxury Cars
  • The Top Five Michael Jackson Songs
  • The Top Five Simple Smart Phones
  • The Top Five Movies of All Time
  • The Top Five Facts About the Sun
  • The Top Five Causes of Road Rage
  • The Top Five Places to Mountain Bike
  • The Top Five Books for the Kindle
  • The Top Five Candle Scents for Winter 
  • The Top Five Soft Drinks
  • The Top Five Baby Bags for Moms
  • The Top Five Tips on How to Make Money Onli ...
  • The Top Five Cell Phones Under 50 Dollars
  • The Top Five Attractions in the USA
  • The Top Five Wedding Websites
  • The Top Five Things I've Learned from Britt ...
  • The Top Five Reasons to Vote During Electio ...
  • The Top Five Ways to Get a Phone Number
  • The Top Five Financial Mistakes People Make ...
  • The Top Five Cartoons for Toddlers
  • The Top Five Foods That Help you Lose Weigh ...
  • The Top Five Sources for Vitamin D
  • The Top Five Items you Can’t Live Without
  • The Top Five Ways to Turn Down a Job Offer
  • The Top Five Tips for Planting a Garden
  • The Top Five Superheroes
  • The Top Five Xbox 360 Kinect Games for Exer ...
  • The Top Five Fast Food Restaurants
  • The Top Five TV Shows of All Time
  • The Top Five Ideas for Anniversary Gifts
  • The Top Five Paint Colors for a Home
  • The Top Five Healthy Recipes
  • The Top Five Ways to Find Cheap Flights Onl ...
  • The Top Five Harry Potter Movies
  • The Top Five Motivational Speakers
  • The Top Five Places to get a Free Credit Re ...
  • The Top Five New York Hotels
  • The Top Five Wedding Gowns
  • The Top Five Ways to Get a Loan
  • The Top Five Commercials
  • The Top Five Reasons you Should Play Fantas ...
  • The Top Five Websites for Photographers
  • The Top Five Places to Buy Electronics
  • The Top Five Golfing Tips
  • The Top Five Places to Find Cheap Books
  • The Top Five Funniest Jokes
  • The Top Five Quotes to Live by
  • The Top Five Budget Mistakes Most People Ma ...
  • The Top Five Designer Handbags
  • The Top Five Carpet Cleaning Tips
  • The Top Five Must See Events in Las Vegas
  • The Top Five Five Music Genres
  • The Top Five Greatest NBA Players of All Ti ...
  • The Top Five Ways to Keep your Lawn Green
  • The Top Five Shampoos
  • The Top Five Ways to Earn Money Online
  • The Top Five Skills Needed for a Career in ...
  • The Top Five Ways to Get a Grant
  • The Top Five Inventions That Changed the Wo ...
  • The Top Five Bealtes Songs beatles songs Wr ...
  • The Top Five Vacation Spots
  • The Top Five Ways to Stay in Shape
  • The Top Five Most Trusted Cars
  • The Top Five Movies of 2010
  • The Top Five Health Insurance Companies
  • The Top Five Healthy Meals For Under 5 Doll ...
  • The Top Five Steps on How to Make a Website ...
  • The Top Five Reasons Smoking is Bad
  • The Top Five Spyware Removal Systems
  • The Top Five Youtube Videos for 2010 
  • The Top Five Candle Scents for Summer Time
  • The Top Five Home Air Purifiers
  • The Top Five Ways to Improve your Resume
  • The Top Five HDTV brands
  • The Top Five Knock Knock Jokes
  • The Top Five Ways to Workout your Upper Bod ...
  • The Top Five Things to See in Dallas Texas
  • The Top Five Hair Products
  • The Top Five Online Gaming Sites
  • The Top Five Outdoor Activities
  • The Top Five Planets in the Solar System
  • The Top Five Safest Cities in America
  • The Top Five Unhealthy Foods for Dogs 
  • The Top Five Ways to Earn Money as a Colleg ...
  • The Top Five Google Apps
  • The Top Five People you Would Want to Meet
  • The Top Five Signs that You are in Love
  • The Top Five Auto Insurance Companies
  • The Top Five Schools for Business Managemen ...
  • The Top Five Restaurants
  • The Top Five Makeup Tips for Teens
  • The Top Five Walt Disney Movies
  • The Top Five Funniest People
  • The Top Five Most Influential Sports Figure ...
  • The Top Five Places to Get a Student Loan
  • The Top Five Steps to Home Security
  • The Top Five Talk Shows on TV
  • The Top Five Hair Products Women Must Have
  • The Top Five Helpful Hints to Get Pregnant  ...
  • The Top Five Websites for Discount Vacation ...
  • The Top Five Funniest Movies Ever
  • The Top Five Pets you Should Own
  • The Top Five Vitamins for Hair Growth
  • The Top Five Ways to Stop Smoking
  • The Top Five Five Smart Phones
  • The Top Five Holidays
  • The Top Five Funniest Movies For Kids
  • The Top Five Nascar Drivers
  • The Top Five Dessert Recipes
  • The Top Five States to Live In
  • The Top Five 4th of July Party Ideas
  • The Top Five Advice for New Moms
  • The Top Five Professions
  • The Top Five Tips for Staying Positive
  • The Top Five Video Games
  • The Top Five Songs About Love
  • The Top Five Foods to Avoid when Trying to ...
  • The Top Five Websites for Music
  • The Top Five Ways to Update your Home Witho ...
  • The Top Five Xbox 360 Games
  • The Top Five Jewelry Stores
  • The Top Five Places to Live
  • The Top Five Stresses of Home Ownership
  • The Top Five Cities to Live in
  • The Top Five Things to do Before your 60 Ye ...
  • The Top Five Car Maintenance Checklist
  • The Top Five Universities for MBA
  • The Top Five Candy Bars With Peanut Butter
  • The Top Five Ways to Invest in Real Estate
  • The Top Five Ways to Keep Track of Spending ...
  • The Top Five Online Social Networks
  • The Top Five Movies With a Twist
  • The Top Five Foods For an Upset Stomach 
  • The Top Five Items you Never want to Lose
  • The Top Five Ways to Cope With Stress
  • The Top Five Tips for Healthy Blood Pressur ...
  • The Top Five Ways to Save Money
  • The Top Five Card Games for Four Players
  • The Top Five Car Seat Safety Tips
  • The Top Five Reasons For Leaving a Job
  • The Top Five Steps on How to Potty Train Yo ...
  • The Top Five Hair Removal Options
  • The Top Five Places to Find Crazy Video Cli ...
  • The Top Five Educational Websites for Kids
  • The Top Five Career Moves for Teachers
  • The Top Five Quotes From the Movie Elf
  • The Top Five Presidents of the United State ...
  • The Top Five Foods for Diabetics
  • The Top Five PGA Golfers
  • The Top Five Books to Read This Year
  • The Top Five Traditional Thanksgiving Dishe ...
  • The Top Five Creative Ways to Announce a Pr ...
  • The Top Five Funniest Websites
  • The Top Five Websites for Kids
  • The Top Five Computers for College Students ...
  • The Top Five Creative Ways to Ask a Girl to ...
  • The Top Five Diet Pills
  • The Top Five Smart Phones of the Year
  • The Top Five Healthiest Choices for Breakfa ...
  • The Top Five Steps on How to Get a Date
  • The Top Five Most Influential Speeches
  • The Top Five Tips for New Parents
  • The Top Five Days During the Year
  • The Top Five Wedding Favors
  • The Top Five Business Marketing Tips
  • The Top Five Places to Find a Job
  • The Top Five Designer Shoe Brands for Women ...
  • The Top Five Wedding Themes
  • The Top Five Places to Retire
  • The Top Five Most Hated Celebrities
  • The Top Five Tax Mistakes People Commonly M ...
  • The Top Five Online Flower Delivery Compani ...
  • The Top Five Ways to Avoid Unemployment
  • The Top Five Teeth Whitening Tips
  • The Top Five Prom Dresses
  • The Top Five Steps to Internet Security
  • The Top Five Healthiest Snacks
  • The Top Five Bedroom Decorating Ideas
  • The Top Five NFL Football Stadiums With A D ...
  • The Top Five Things to do at Disneyland
  • The Top Five Pasta Recipes
  • The Top Five Clothing Lines for Modest Clot ...
  • The Top Five California Landmarks
  • The Top Five Steps on How to Avoid Credit C ...
  • The Top Five Book Series for Young Adults
  • The Top Five Gaming Consoles
  • The Top Five Healthiest Fruits
  • The Top Five Home Improvement Tips for Sell ...
  • The Top Five Pasta Recipes for Kids
  • The Top Five Places for Discount Furniture ...
  • The Top Five Steps on How to Save Money
  • The Top Five Ways to Build Muscle
  • The Top Five Country Singers of All Time
  • The Top Five Tips for New Businesses
  • The Top Five Job Opportunities for People W ...
  • The Top Five Places to get French Fries
  • The Top Five Places for Kids Birthday Parti ...
  • The Top Five Reasons to Invest in Running S ...
  • The Top Five Reason to Rent
  • The Top Five Ways to Keep Unwanted Pests Ou ...
  • The Top Five Clues for Crossword Puzzles
  • The Top Five Nuts that go in Salad
  • The Top Five Mistakes Parents Make With Kid ...
  • The Top Five Songs About Texas
  • The Top Five Things you Should Not do in an ...
  • The Top Five Rules for a Strong Relationshi ...