Introduction:Scientists tell us they've discovered the Goldilocks Planet, a planet that is "just right" for life. Whether you're bored, underpaid or just can't stand your neighbor's yappy little dog, the Goldilocks Planet may be your place in the sun -- um, a different sun of course.
Moving twenty light years from Earth might be just the ticket if your family members are a pain in the ___. What with e-mail, Skype and airline fare sales, those nasty relatives are too close for comfort -- no matter where on Earth they may be skulking.
If the Goldilocks Planet is just right for life, then there has to be water. Right? Find yourself a nice little lake and start building your extra-terrestrial empire. Think of it as trumping Trump.
Since only Earthlings are crazy enough to invent and then stare endlessly at a flickering box, you will never again hear the rapid-fire, "may cause nausea, heartburn, insanity, birth defects in the pups of your neighbor's yappy little dog, and death by firing squad on a rainy afternoon in June. Take only as directed."
Don't like the way the Punic Wars ended? Don't know -- or care -- what the Punic Wars were? No problem! You can write your very own version of the history of Planet Earth and any life forms on the Goldilocks Planet will never know the difference.
Why should some doofus on Planet Earth get all the credit for coming up with this name? You're the one taking all the risks! Once you arrive, find yourself a nice little nook and relax. Not too hard, not too soft -- but somewhere just right!
Ha ha! Good one.
Packing my bags. Leaving my neighbors.
Those are some pretty awesome reasons!
Insanely clever list! A delightful read. And, I plan to visit the Goldilocks planet -- if only in my dreams!
Excellent post :)
check py lists too
ListingToTheLeft: I agree. And once we're there we can start a brand-new How-to site and do it right!!
Great list, Joyce! I'd love to visit Planet Goldilocks and possibly move there. Love this list! It is just right!
Darla...In my opinion you out-trump Trump every day of the week. And you have nicer hair as well!
Love it ... I live on planet Goldilocks and liek the idea of out-trumping Trump!!!!
select one here...