Your make-up is improperly applied and smudged all over your face, and on the unidentified dude passed out on the sofa.
Oh, and you are a man - not that this is wrong or anything...
You remember that you were rolling Cupcakes all over the yard, all throughout the house, and in your bed.
And, Cupcakes is your dogs name.
Your car is oddly parked in the front lawn.
Your neighbor called you and kindly asked you to get your car out of their yard.
When you wake up your eyeballs are cemented shut because you enjoying Chinese food in your bed while lying flat on your back and excessive duck sauce became an adhesive..
You now have a tattoo that says "I am a rebel, I throw caution to the wind, and I am bold and brave. However, if anyone were to see this tattoo I would be embarrassed because of my age and my profession so I chose to have this tattoo put on my pinky toe (the tattoo was in wicked wicked tiny writing)
If you have experienced any of these, congratulations; you are a shiftless alcoholic.
select one here...