Christmas Gifts For Enemy Coworkers

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Introduction:Few things are worse than those enemy co-workers who insist upon making your day miserable except when office politics force you to buy them Christmas presents. It just bites your goat to have to spend money on someone whose joy in life is trying to make you as wretched as possible. These gifts are sure to let them know just how much you value them without burning a hole in your pocketbook.

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  Nothing Says I Hate You Like Fake Dog Poop

  Check out Etsy and you can find artisan fake dog poop shaped into hearts, business card holders, and even a broach. Being the cheapskate I am, I make my own. All you really need is some polymer clay, acrylic paint, and varnish.

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  Regift the Fruitcake

  Have an extra fruitcake from last year just lying around (or propping open the door)? Just take the gift tag off from whomever gave it to you and change the bow. Already expired? **snort** Whatever. We all know fruitcakes never REALLY expire. All out? No worries. You can pick one up at the dollar store for a buck or two.

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  Leftover Halloween Candy

  Great-Aunt Thelma load your kids up on dollar store candy even the dog won't touch? You know. the kind that smells (and tastes) like something from a dirty diaper. All you need is a pretty gift bag, and you've shot two birds with one stone. Be sure to thank Great-Aunt Thelma for her help. She doesn't need to know just how she helped you.

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  Free Samples No One Else Wants

  If you're a cheapskate like me, you enjoy getting free stuff in the mail or as store giveaways. Most of it's great. like free boxes of cereal, squeaky dog toys, fake barf, etc. Other times, no so much. Instead of tossing away the cologne that smells like urine or nail polish that looks like slime, put it all aside until Christmas and then make wonderful personalized gift baskets for those you don't love. Oh, and that great fake vomit you love., use it to line the bottom of the basket.

• 05

  Restaurant Gift Certificates

  No, not to the one with the worst restaurant health inspection records. One they actually like. Don't forget to put a bow on the envelope and give it to them with a sickening sweet smile. Why are we giving the worst co-worker in the world a good Christmas present when they know you don't like them? They'll be confused and constantly looking over their should for when the "real" present arrives and won't be able to enjoy it.

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