Funny Puns and More

Humor - Jokes

By: hummingbirdee 16-Jan-2011

Introduction:

If you need a laugh, read some of these funny puns. A pun is fun with words. The definition in Webster's Dictionary is
"the humorous use of a word or words, which are formed or sounded alike but have different meanings, in such a way as to play on two or more of the possible applications; a play on words."

It takes a clever person to come up with a pun, even though it is often considered the lowest form of humor.

First Group of Funny Puns

Funny Puns:

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery

Second Group of Funny Puns

Funny Puns:

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Third Group of Funny Puns

Funny Puns:

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

Fourth Group of Funny Puns

Funny Puns:

The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of a Fryer!

If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

Last Group of Funny Puns

Funny puns:

A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

Final Thoughts

Did any of these make you chuckle, or did you not find them very punny?

Supporting Links

Funny Jokes From The Woman's Dictionary

Give this list a high five!

Comments

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pamperedpen 1/18/2012
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Very, very funny. H5
tamron 3/1/2011
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Thanks for the funny puns!H5
jseven 1/20/2011
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Ha ha! I like the Eskimo one. :) High 5~
ListMaker 1/18/2011
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Needed a laugh this morning and got it. They were very very punny!
Ellie 1/17/2011
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I love these!!! Thanks for this hilarious list!
workhomeunion 1/17/2011
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These puns are FANTASTIC .. I like them all, esp this one, "A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it," and this one, "I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me." Hi5