Are you tired of telemarketers? Here are 5 great ways to encourage them to find a new career!
Listen very intently to the initial pitch. Perhaps even hint that you might be interested in buying. Ask one or two questions about the product or service, then ask "have you been saved?" "Have you seen the light?" "Are you one with the almighty?" Ad lib from there and don't stop until they hang up.
Listen to the pitch for a little while, and then say "Bob? Bob? Is that you? Bob, why are you disguising your voice? I told you it's OVER between us! I don't care how many times you send me earthworms, Bob, I don't LOVE YOU ANYMORE!" Keep ad libbing until the caller hangs up.
When the local newspaper calls to offer home delivery, listen very politely, and act as if you are really giving some deep thought to the offer. Then try to explain that you really don't need home delivery, because you already have a home. Suggest they contact that TV show that does home makeovers for deserving families. Be very sincere and keep going until they hang up.
Give the caller a chance to complete the pitch. Then respond VERY conversationally as if you are replying with interest in the offer, but do it in a completely made-up language. No matter what the person says, answer in a tone that sounds like a real conversation, but in your secret language.
Listen to what the caller has to say, then respond as if the caller is a close friend who has just shared some very personal, perhaps scandalous information with you about someone. "Oh my, John, did she really say that? In front of the whole office? With her shirt off"? Keep having the pretend conversation as if you can't hear the telemarketer, and ad lib until the pest hangs up!
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