Ways to Annoy Telemarketers

Humor - General

By: ActorOutOnLoan     28-Apr-2011

Introduction:

Are you tired of telemarketers? Here are 5 great ways to encourage them to find a new career!

Ask If the Telemarketer Has Been Saved

Listen very intently to the initial pitch. Perhaps even hint that you might be interested in buying. Ask one or two questions about the product or service, then ask "have you been saved?" "Have you seen the light?" "Are you one with the almighty?" Ad lib from there and don't stop until they hang up.

Pretend the Telemarketer Is Your Estranged Lover

Listen to the pitch for a little while, and then say "Bob? Bob? Is that you? Bob, why are you disguising your voice? I told you it's OVER between us! I don't care how many times you send me earthworms, Bob, I don't LOVE YOU ANYMORE!" Keep ad libbing until the caller hangs up.

Explain That You Already Have a Home

When the local newspaper calls to offer home delivery, listen very politely, and act as if you are really giving some deep thought to the offer. Then try to explain that you really don't need home delivery, because you already have a home. Suggest they contact that TV show that does home makeovers for deserving families. Be very sincere and keep going until they hang up.

Speak In a Gibberish Language

Give the caller a chance to complete the pitch. Then respond VERY conversationally as if you are replying with interest in the offer, but do it in a completely made-up language. No matter what the person says, answer in a tone that sounds like a real conversation, but in your secret language.

Have a Conversation With Someone Else

Listen to what the caller has to say, then respond as if the caller is a close friend who has just shared some very personal, perhaps scandalous information with you about someone. "Oh my, John, did she really say that? In front of the whole office? With her shirt off"? Keep having the pretend conversation as if you can't hear the telemarketer, and ad lib until the pest hangs up!





Give this list a high five!





Comments


Post A Comment

Post this comment to my Facebook Profile





Need a Top Five List Idea?

select one here...

  • The Top Five Ways to Relieve Stress
  • The Top Five Unhealthy Foods for Dogs 
  • The Top Five Nuts that go in Salad
  • The Top Five Steps on How to Potty Train Your P ...
  • The Top Five Steps on How to Get a Date
  • The Top Five Job Opportunities for People With ...
  • The Top Five Movies of 2010
  • The Top Five Tips for Staying Positive
  • The Top Five Auto Insurance Companies
  • The Top Five Ways to Earn Money as a College St ...
  • The Top Five Funniest People
  • The Top Five Reasons Smoking is Bad
  • The Top Five Places for Kids Birthday Parties
  • The Top Five Baby Bags for Moms
  • The Top Five Tips for Newlyweds
  • The Top Five Websites for Discount Vacation Pac ...
  • The Top Five Quotes From the Movie Elf
  • The Top Five Ways to Prevent Skin Cancer
  • The Top Five Ways to Save Money
  • The Top Five Reason to Rent
  • The Top Five Inventions That Changed the World 
  • The Top Five Places to See in the World
  • The Top Five Pets you Should Own
  • The Top Five Tips for Planting a Garden
  • The Top Five Tips on How to Make Money Online
  • The Top Five Foods For an Upset Stomach 
  • The Top Five Ways to Keep Unwanted Pests Out of ...
  • The Top Five Ideas for Anniversary Gifts
  • The Top Five Five Music Genres
  • The Top Five Places to Retire
  • The Top Five Steps on How to Avoid Credit Card ...
  • The Top Five Tips for Healthy Blood Pressure
  • The Top Five Online Flower Delivery Companies
  • The Top Five Books to Read This Year
  • The Top Five Cell Phones Under 50 Dollars
  • The Top Five Sporting Events
  • The Top Five Creative Ways to Ask a Girl to Hom ...
  • The Top Five California Landmarks
  • The Top Five Candle Scents for Winter 
  • The Top Five Online Social Networks
  • The Top Five Signs that You are in Love
  • The Top Five Helpful Hints to Get Pregnant 
  • The Top Five Steps on How to Save Money
  • The Top Five Websites for Artists
  • The Top Five Nascar Drivers
  • The Top Five Books for the Kindle
  • The Top Five Xbox 360 Games
  • The Top Five Harry Potter Movies
  • The Top Five Board Games for Groups
  • The Top Five Paint Colors for a Home
  • The Top Five Holidays
  • The Top Five Ways to Improve your Resume
  • The Top Five Places to get a Free Credit Report ...
  • The Top Five Ways to Get a Loan
  • The Top Five Overseas Bed and Breakfast Stops
  • The Top Five Dessert Recipes
  • The Top Five Tips for New Parents
  • The Top Five Most Hated Celebrities
  • The Top Five Xbox 360 Kinect Games for Exercise
  • The Top Five Places to Get a Student Loan
  • The Top Five Healthiest Snacks
  • The Top Five Ways to Cope With Stress
  • The Top Five Quotes to Live by
  • The Top Five Five Smart Phones
  • The Top Five Wedding Gowns
  • The Top Five States to Live In
  • The Top Five Teeth Whitening Tips
  • The Top Five Mistakes Parents Make With Kids
  • The Top Five Dog Breeds for Kids
  • The Top Five Ways to Turn Down a Job Offer
  • The Top Five Hair Removal Options
  • The Top Five Items you Can’t Live Without
  • The Top Five Sources for Vitamin D
  • The Top Five Computers for College Students
  • The Top Five Card Games for Four Players
  • The Top Five Places to Find Cheap Books
  • The Top Five Commercials
  • The Top Five Vacation Spots
  • The Top Five Ways to Keep Track of Spending
  • The Top Five Financial Mistakes People Make
  • The Top Five Rules for a Strong Relationship
  • The Top Five New York Hotels
  • The Top Five Steps to Internet Security
  • The Top Five Home Air Purifiers
  • The Top Five Clothing Lines for Modest Clothes 
  • The Top Five Photo Editing Websites
  • The Top Five Career Moves for Teachers
  • The Top Five Golfing Tips
  • The Top Five Places to Live
  • The Top Five Candy Bars With Peanut Butter
  • The Top Five Reasons to Vote During Elections
  • The Top Five Diet Pills
  • The Top Five Funniest Movies Ever
  • The Top Five Fast Food Restaurants
  • The Top Five Professions
  • The Top Five Reasons you Should Play Fantasy Fo ...
  • The Top Five Hair Products
  • The Top Five Presidents of the United States
  • The Top Five Youtube Videos for 2010 
  • The Top Five Cities to Live in
  • The Top Five Stresses of Home Ownership
  • The Top Five Must See Events in Las Vegas
  • The Top Five Healthiest Fruits
  • The Top Five Car Maintenance Checklist
  • The Top Five Vitamins for Hair Growth
  • The Top Five Home Improvement Tips for Selling ...
  • The Top Five Business Marketing Tips
  • The Top Five Pasta Recipes
  • The Top Five Steps to Home Security
  • The Top Five Steps on How to Make a Website
  • The Top Five Soft Drinks
  • The Top Five Universities for MBA
  • The Top Five Outdoor Activities
  • The Top Five TV Shows of All Time
  • The Top Five Ways to Workout your Upper Body
  • The Top Five Bedroom Decorating Ideas
  • The Top Five Video Games
  • The Top Five Songs About Texas
  • The Top Five Talk Shows on TV
  • The Top Five Websites for Music
  • The Top Five Cartoons for Toddlers
  • The Top Five Makeup Tips for Teens
  • The Top Five Hair Products Women Must Have
  • The Top Five Luxury Cars
  • The Top Five Ways to Stop Smoking
  • The Top Five Prom Dresses
  • The Top Five Foods to Avoid when Trying to Lose ...
  • The Top Five Most Trusted Cars
  • The Top Five Places for Discount Furniture Onli ...
  • The Top Five Things to See in Dallas Texas
  • The Top Five Wedding Favors
  • The Top Five Planets in the Solar System
  • The Top Five Ways to Invest in Real Estate
  • The Top Five Skills Needed for a Career in IT
  • The Top Five Michael Jackson Songs
  • The Top Five Healthiest Choices for Breakfast 
  • The Top Five Motivational Speakers
  • The Top Five Healthy Meals For Under 5 Dollars
  • The Top Five Reasons to Invest in Running Shoes
  • The Top Five Advice for New Moms
  • The Top Five Tips for New Businesses
  • The Top Five Car Seat Safety Tips
  • The Top Five 4th of July Party Ideas
  • The Top Five Ways to Stay in Shape
  • The Top Five Most Influential Sports Figures
  • The Top Five Ways to Avoid Unemployment
  • The Top Five Smart Phones of the Year
  • The Top Five Safest Cities in America
  • The Top Five Designer Handbags
  • The Top Five Shampoos
  • The Top Five Spyware Removal Systems
  • The Top Five Foods for Diabetics
  • The Top Five Places to Find Crazy Video Clips O ...
  • The Top Five Places to get French Fries
  • The Top Five Schools for Business Management
  • The Top Five iPhone Apps
  • The Top Five Places to Find a Job
  • The Top Five NFL Football Stadiums With A Dome
  • The Top Five Wedding Themes
  • The Top Five Book Series for Young Adults
  • The Top Five Ways to Earn Money Online
  • The Top Five Budget Mistakes Most People Make
  • The Top Five Ways to Update your Home Without S ...
  • The Top Five Foods That Help you Lose Weight
  • The Top Five Greatest NBA Players of All Time
  • The Top Five Traditional Thanksgiving Dishes
  • The Top Five Funniest Movies For Kids
  • The Top Five Websites for Photographers
  • The Top Five Free Places for Veterans to Eat 
  • The Top Five Healthy Recipes
  • The Top Five People you Would Want to Meet
  • The Top Five Facts About the Sun
  • The Top Five Carpet Cleaning Tips
  • The Top Five Clues for Crossword Puzzles
  • The Top Five Ways to Keep your Lawn Green
  • The Top Five Things I've Learned from Brittany ...
  • The Top Five Health Insurance Companies
  • The Top Five Candle Scents for Summer Time
  • The Top Five Bealtes Songs beatles songs Writte ...
  • The Top Five Superheroes
  • The Top Five Items you Never want to Lose
  • The Top Five Ways to Get a Grant
  • The Top Five Tax Mistakes People Commonly Make
  • The Top Five Reasons For Leaving a Job
  • The Top Five Restaurants
  • The Top Five Jewelry Stores
  • The Top Five Knock Knock Jokes
  • The Top Five Websites for Kids
  • The Top Five Ways to Build Muscle
  • The Top Five Songs About Love
  • The Top Five Places to Buy Electronics
  • The Top Five Chicken Recipes
  • The Top Five Simple Smart Phones
  • The Top Five Wedding Websites
  • The Top Five HDTV brands
  • The Top Five Things you Should Not do in an Int ...
  • The Top Five Movies of All Time
  • The Top Five Ways to Improve your Health
  • The Top Five Attractions in the USA
  • The Top Five Online Gaming Sites
  • The Top Five Causes of Road Rage
  • The Top Five Ways to Get a Phone Number
  • The Top Five Places to Mountain Bike
  • The Top Five Pasta Recipes for Kids
  • The Top Five Gaming Consoles
  • The Top Five Most Influential Speeches
  • The Top Five Designer Shoe Brands for Women
  • The Top Five Movies With a Twist
  • The Top Five Country Singers of All Time
  • The Top Five Things to do at Disneyland
  • The Top Five Days During the Year
  • The Top Five Creative Ways to Announce a Pregna ...
  • The Top Five PGA Golfers
  • The Top Five Things to do Before your 60 Years ...
  • The Top Five Funniest Websites
  • The Top Five Ways to Find Cheap Flights Online
  • The Top Five Educational Websites for Kids
  • The Top Five Funniest Jokes
  • The Top Five Google Apps
  • The Top Five Walt Disney Movies