Reasons Why Cats Are Evil

Humor - Pets

By: SlightlyLive     21-Nov-2011

Introduction:

I live with two cats, although not by choice. And whilst they can be nice and loving one moment, I sometimes glimpse the true evil nature lurking beneath that cute furry surface.

Suffocation

Cats like the warmth of their human slaves and love to cuddle up to us to take our warmth for themselves. Occasionally this will mean jumping on top of you when you are sleeping and lie down near your face (and your warm sleepy breath). In truth, they are intentionally trying to suffocate us in our sleep.

Obedience

Cats are smart. They respond to their names when called and can identify the sound of food when you come home with the grocery shopping and know when it's meal time. Just like dogs in fact. However, unlike dogs cats flat out refuse to follow any commands and resist any form of training.

Every try to teach a cat to sit? Of course not. They wouldn't do it and they make you feel silly for even trying it.

They understand what you are saying, they are just as smart as dogs after all, but they simply refuse to listen to the commands of us humans.

Manipulation

People say that cats have a wider variety of vocal expressions than dogs do, and they would be correct. From meowing to purring and everything in between cats are very expressive animals.

Why are they expressive? It is because they are very demanding. Demanding up to the point of outright manipulation. When they want attention cats sound off like helpless kittens to induce us humans into doing their bidding. When hungry they will whine so loud you want to hurry up and feed them to shut them up.

Love Hurts

Cats do this weird things with their paws when they feel comfortable where they "knead" the surface of your sofa or body - it is similar to how as kittens they would knead the teat of their mommy cats to encourage milk to flow.

As adults however when they express love and happiness this way they also have bigger claws - and they hurt. It's how they express how fond they are of us humans by reminding us of their ability to hurt us.

No Shame

When dogs do something bad or have a little accident they will hide or wimper and give you the "sorry eyes". When told off, dogs will turn their ears down and put their tails between their legs to indicate submission.

Not cats.

They don't care what they do. Cats do have accidents and so don't feel shamed when we humans get angry at them. They just scoot off somewhere else when things get heated or even try to ignore any problems like they didn't happen. But they did happen. You know it and the cat knows it and it doesn't care.




Final Thoughts

See? I told you they were evil.


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