The Top Five Reasons I Find Santa Claus Creepy

Humor - General

By: PupFashionista     18-Nov-2010

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Introduction:

Personally I find Santa more than a little creepy. Just check out "The Top Five Christmas Memories From My Childhood," and you will totally understand why. However as an adult, the creepy factor of Santa seems to grow and grow. Am I the only one who sees it?

Santa Is a Peeping Tom

Proof: "He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows when you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake." While I update my Facebook status a couple of times per day, there's no way Santa could know that much about me without peeping in my window.

Santa Encourages Strange Kids to Sit on His Lap

We mail him our Christmas wish lists. We give parents hints galore. Some of us even post what we want under the tree in the newspaper. Plus he's been spying on us. (See #1). Does he REALLY need kids to sit on his lap, too?

Santa Is a Shape Shifter

Therefore he must be an alien. I mean sometimes he's fat. Sometimes he's just plump. (I've even seen him skinny once or twice.) Sometimes he's short. Sometimes he's tall. Sometimes he's got a long beard. Sometimes it's neatly trimmed. No human can change their appearance so fast. As I said, Santa's a shape shifting alien from Mars.

Creepy Santa Photos

Check out your photos with Santa from childhood. Are you screaming? Trying to get out of Santa's lap? Giving him the evil eye? Pulling his beard? You are not alone. In fact Santa's taken so many creepy photos, there's now a website dedicated to them. **shudder**

Santa Speedo Run

For the last ten years, Santa and Santa wanna be's have stripped down to their Speedos and Santa hats, and run through the streets of Boston. While they are raising money for worthy charities in the Boston area, there's just something a little creepy about 500 Santas and Mrs. Clauses running half naked down Newbury Street at lunchtime.




Final Thoughts

And I'm not the only one who finds Ol' St. Nicholas more than a little off. Santaphobia: An abnormal, persistent fear of Father Christmas.


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