Reasons February Stinks and Is Miserable

Humor - General

By: Ellie 19-Jan-2011

Introduction:

February stinks. And is miserable as heck. I'm already dreading February. It's looming in the distance and I am terrified of this gloomy, depressing, and awful month because of these five reasons.

It's 28 Days Too Long

Whoever thought of making February last for 28 days was a complete and utter moron. It should last ZERO days as far as I'm concerned.

Leap Year Exists

Enduring 28 days of this worthless, depressing month is bad enough. For some reason, every four years, we have to suffer for one extra miserable day. Why? Why can't June be 31 days instead? Why must this torture exist?!

The Weather Is Just Downright Rotten

It's cold, it's windy, it's icy, it's cloudy, and it's the time of year when the once-pristine white snow is now blackened from all of the dirt and oil it's been sitting in for the duration of the winter. February forces us to deal with this grossness because it doesn't allow the snow to melt. February doesn't allow the snow to melt because it wants everyone else to feel as miserable as it looks outside.

Valentine's Day Is Right Smack In the Middle of This Month

Since when did love mean a $40 box of chocolates shaped like a naked Cupid's rear end? This holiday stresses out everyone, including those who end up with really nice gifts. This is because even these lucky people will spend the first half of February wondering if they're going to actually get those really nice gifts...or if their significant other really doesn't care about them at all and buys them nothing. Because no gift clearly means no love. (At least that's what Hallmark wants you to think).

Its Name Isn't Even Spelled Right

Yeah, yeah. I realize the English language is full of spelling imperfections and broken syntactical rules. In this case, however, the irrational, problem-causing spelling is just the cherry on top of a cold, bland, miserable sundae.

Final Thoughts

The good news about February is that it eventually ends and we can all regain the hope and joy that we lost at the beginning of the month. The bad news is it will happen again next year.

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Comments

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Jeanniemaries 2/5/2011
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I may have posted a somewhat upbeat February post to encourage people but this is what I really think!
30 days hath September
April, June, and November
Excepting February
Which has 90.
jseven 1/23/2011
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Well, this is funny and kind of true! Can you believe both of my divorces were final in February? But years apart and my last one was on leap year so no divorce anniversary, shucks! :) I will find the good in it!
BonnieDossKnight 1/21/2011
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Happy Valentine to me - that's the day I'm getting layed-off from my job with the state. I'm inclined to support you in your misery about February. January hasn't been swell in Nashville. We're snowed in - again. Funny good list.
PriscillaBenfield 1/20/2011
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Ah c'mon..February means that it is getting closer to winter being over. That has to be good!
IzzyDuncan 1/19/2011
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We can hope for a warm February and spell the name any way we want. That will teach this month a thing or two.
PajamaMommy 1/19/2011
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I agree. In many ways, February is actually the longest month.