Signs You Are a Peanut Butter Junkie

Food/Cooking - General

By: ActorOutOnLoan     28-May-2011

Introduction:

Peanut butter is a yummy and healthy treat enjoyed by millions of people around the world, but there are some people who go beyond normal enjoyment of this delicious food.

They are your neighbors, your friends, and even members of your own household. They are good people leading normal, productive lives. But, hand them a giant spoon and open a jar of peanut butter, and their true reason for living becomes obvious.

They are the peanut butter junkies. And they cannot get enough of that gooey, peanuty fix. Are you one of them? Awareness is the first step. Here are the top 5 signs you may have more than an everyday relationship with peanut butter.

You Will Eat Peanut Butter With or on Almost Anything

Oh, sure, there's nothing like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but if you find yourself slathering giant heaps of peanut butter onto a cold slice of pizza, or shoveling a gobbing mountain of the stuff into your mouth with one hand while delivering ice cream right behind it with the other hand, well, you may need professional help.

You Are Bi Butteral

Most people have a preference of either crunchy or smooth peanut butter, but the addict will eat either variety with joyful, reckless abandon. The most serious junkie will even consume crunchy and smooth at the same time. When you have an addiction to peanut butter, you'll eat it regardless of how it comes. Goobers PB&J combo? Bring it on!

The Morning After

Don't mean to make anyone grimace here, but if you've gone on a golden buttery binge and your....byproduct....smells like peanut butter in the morning, you need immediate intervention by a trained professional.

Jar Scraping

You're at the point where most people would throw away the jar because it's mostly empty. But you can't. You just can't throw away perfectly good peanut butter.

So you begin a frantic scraping session, using anything you can find to harvest those last bits from the side of the jar. In the worst stages of peanut butter addicition, you may also find yourself licking the bottom of the lid when no is looking.

You Buy the Giant Family Tub But You're Single

If you are a single person who lives alone, there is no normal reason for you to be buying a giant super tub of peanut butter the size of Manhattan.

You can tell yourself it's to save money, but you're just in denial. Face the truth and you are one step closer to...well....at least UNDERSTANDING why you have to buy enough peanut butter to feed Wisconsin.




Final Thoughts

This list will help you understand your crazy love for peanut butter. You could have worse addictions, and provided you are careful not to go out in public with a glop of the stuff on your chin or in the cracks between your fingers, you should have no trouble secretly maintaining your strange peanuty, buttery world.


Give this list a high five!





Comments


Post A Comment

Post this comment to my Facebook Profile





Need a Top Five List Idea?

select one here...

  • The Top Five Cities to Live in
  • The Top Five Tips for New Businesses
  • The Top Five Photo Editing Websites
  • The Top Five Items you Never want to Lose
  • The Top Five Ways to Keep Track of Spending
  • The Top Five Universities for MBA
  • The Top Five Job Opportunities for People With ...
  • The Top Five Foods For an Upset Stomach 
  • The Top Five Healthy Recipes
  • The Top Five Funniest People
  • The Top Five New York Hotels
  • The Top Five Ways to Keep your Lawn Green
  • The Top Five Mistakes Parents Make With Kids
  • The Top Five Rules for a Strong Relationship
  • The Top Five Ways to Relieve Stress
  • The Top Five Ways to Find Cheap Flights Online
  • The Top Five Online Flower Delivery Companies
  • The Top Five Movies of All Time
  • The Top Five Video Games
  • The Top Five Websites for Discount Vacation Pac ...
  • The Top Five Ways to Cope With Stress
  • The Top Five Healthiest Snacks
  • The Top Five Hair Removal Options
  • The Top Five Steps to Internet Security
  • The Top Five Ways to Stay in Shape
  • The Top Five Knock Knock Jokes
  • The Top Five Restaurants
  • The Top Five Most Hated Celebrities
  • The Top Five Ways to Earn Money as a College St ...
  • The Top Five Advice for New Moms
  • The Top Five Songs About Love
  • The Top Five Professions
  • The Top Five Signs that You are in Love
  • The Top Five Traditional Thanksgiving Dishes
  • The Top Five Most Trusted Cars
  • The Top Five Fast Food Restaurants
  • The Top Five Tips for New Parents
  • The Top Five Places for Kids Birthday Parties
  • The Top Five Diet Pills
  • The Top Five Places to See in the World
  • The Top Five Facts About the Sun
  • The Top Five Wedding Websites
  • The Top Five Things to do at Disneyland
  • The Top Five Foods for Diabetics
  • The Top Five Baby Bags for Moms
  • The Top Five Commercials
  • The Top Five Books to Read This Year
  • The Top Five Unhealthy Foods for Dogs 
  • The Top Five Motivational Speakers
  • The Top Five Chicken Recipes
  • The Top Five Teeth Whitening Tips
  • The Top Five Schools for Business Management
  • The Top Five Places to Find Crazy Video Clips O ...
  • The Top Five Business Marketing Tips
  • The Top Five Reason to Rent
  • The Top Five Dog Breeds for Kids
  • The Top Five Stresses of Home Ownership
  • The Top Five Funniest Movies Ever
  • The Top Five Ways to Turn Down a Job Offer
  • The Top Five Tips on How to Make Money Online
  • The Top Five Vitamins for Hair Growth
  • The Top Five Clues for Crossword Puzzles
  • The Top Five Wedding Gowns
  • The Top Five PGA Golfers
  • The Top Five Home Air Purifiers
  • The Top Five Youtube Videos for 2010 
  • The Top Five Inventions That Changed the World 
  • The Top Five Places to Retire
  • The Top Five Nuts that go in Salad
  • The Top Five Items you Can’t Live Without
  • The Top Five Outdoor Activities
  • The Top Five Healthy Meals For Under 5 Dollars
  • The Top Five Movies of 2010
  • The Top Five Ways to Stop Smoking
  • The Top Five TV Shows of All Time
  • The Top Five Financial Mistakes People Make
  • The Top Five Ways to Save Money
  • The Top Five Designer Shoe Brands for Women
  • The Top Five Superheroes
  • The Top Five Hair Products
  • The Top Five Bealtes Songs beatles songs Writte ...
  • The Top Five Smart Phones of the Year
  • The Top Five Hair Products Women Must Have
  • The Top Five Xbox 360 Games
  • The Top Five Steps on How to Potty Train Your P ...
  • The Top Five Educational Websites for Kids
  • The Top Five Clothing Lines for Modest Clothes 
  • The Top Five Planets in the Solar System
  • The Top Five Five Smart Phones
  • The Top Five Ways to Workout your Upper Body
  • The Top Five Steps on How to Make a Website
  • The Top Five Home Improvement Tips for Selling ...
  • The Top Five 4th of July Party Ideas
  • The Top Five Most Influential Sports Figures
  • The Top Five Days During the Year
  • The Top Five Ways to Avoid Unemployment
  • The Top Five Talk Shows on TV
  • The Top Five Career Moves for Teachers
  • The Top Five Things you Should Not do in an Int ...
  • The Top Five Pasta Recipes for Kids
  • The Top Five States to Live In
  • The Top Five Five Music Genres
  • The Top Five Computers for College Students
  • The Top Five Funniest Jokes
  • The Top Five Online Social Networks
  • The Top Five Quotes to Live by
  • The Top Five Steps to Home Security
  • The Top Five Sporting Events
  • The Top Five Michael Jackson Songs
  • The Top Five Golfing Tips
  • The Top Five Creative Ways to Ask a Girl to Hom ...
  • The Top Five HDTV brands
  • The Top Five Funniest Movies For Kids
  • The Top Five Safest Cities in America
  • The Top Five Cartoons for Toddlers
  • The Top Five Budget Mistakes Most People Make
  • The Top Five Foods That Help you Lose Weight
  • The Top Five Online Gaming Sites
  • The Top Five Wedding Favors
  • The Top Five Harry Potter Movies
  • The Top Five Reasons For Leaving a Job
  • The Top Five Things I've Learned from Brittany ...
  • The Top Five Candle Scents for Summer Time
  • The Top Five Overseas Bed and Breakfast Stops
  • The Top Five Holidays
  • The Top Five Presidents of the United States
  • The Top Five Cell Phones Under 50 Dollars
  • The Top Five Soft Drinks
  • The Top Five Ways to Prevent Skin Cancer
  • The Top Five Steps on How to Save Money
  • The Top Five Books for the Kindle
  • The Top Five Country Singers of All Time
  • The Top Five Nascar Drivers
  • The Top Five Quotes From the Movie Elf
  • The Top Five Ways to Get a Phone Number
  • The Top Five Helpful Hints to Get Pregnant 
  • The Top Five Places for Discount Furniture Onli ...
  • The Top Five Ways to Build Muscle
  • The Top Five Tips for Staying Positive
  • The Top Five Carpet Cleaning Tips
  • The Top Five Ways to Keep Unwanted Pests Out of ...
  • The Top Five Paint Colors for a Home
  • The Top Five California Landmarks
  • The Top Five Most Influential Speeches
  • The Top Five Songs About Texas
  • The Top Five Steps on How to Get a Date
  • The Top Five Websites for Artists
  • The Top Five Movies With a Twist
  • The Top Five Designer Handbags
  • The Top Five People you Would Want to Meet
  • The Top Five Foods to Avoid when Trying to Lose ...
  • The Top Five Candle Scents for Winter 
  • The Top Five Places to get a Free Credit Report ...
  • The Top Five Places to Find a Job
  • The Top Five Makeup Tips for Teens
  • The Top Five Dessert Recipes
  • The Top Five Car Seat Safety Tips
  • The Top Five Prom Dresses
  • The Top Five Candy Bars With Peanut Butter
  • The Top Five Wedding Themes
  • The Top Five Luxury Cars
  • The Top Five Pasta Recipes
  • The Top Five Shampoos
  • The Top Five Creative Ways to Announce a Pregna ...
  • The Top Five Ways to Earn Money Online
  • The Top Five Walt Disney Movies
  • The Top Five Ways to Get a Loan
  • The Top Five Auto Insurance Companies
  • The Top Five Ways to Invest in Real Estate
  • The Top Five Places to Buy Electronics
  • The Top Five Sources for Vitamin D
  • The Top Five Funniest Websites
  • The Top Five Xbox 360 Kinect Games for Exercise
  • The Top Five Ways to Get a Grant
  • The Top Five iPhone Apps
  • The Top Five Ideas for Anniversary Gifts
  • The Top Five NFL Football Stadiums With A Dome
  • The Top Five Places to Find Cheap Books
  • The Top Five Card Games for Four Players
  • The Top Five Bedroom Decorating Ideas
  • The Top Five Places to Mountain Bike
  • The Top Five Ways to Improve your Resume
  • The Top Five Reasons to Invest in Running Shoes
  • The Top Five Things to do Before your 60 Years ...
  • The Top Five Places to get French Fries
  • The Top Five Car Maintenance Checklist
  • The Top Five Must See Events in Las Vegas
  • The Top Five Vacation Spots
  • The Top Five Reasons Smoking is Bad
  • The Top Five Health Insurance Companies
  • The Top Five Board Games for Groups
  • The Top Five Gaming Consoles
  • The Top Five Skills Needed for a Career in IT
  • The Top Five Causes of Road Rage
  • The Top Five Ways to Improve your Health
  • The Top Five Tips for Healthy Blood Pressure
  • The Top Five Things to See in Dallas Texas
  • The Top Five Free Places for Veterans to Eat 
  • The Top Five Healthiest Fruits
  • The Top Five Healthiest Choices for Breakfast 
  • The Top Five Websites for Music
  • The Top Five Simple Smart Phones
  • The Top Five Websites for Kids
  • The Top Five Attractions in the USA
  • The Top Five Places to Live
  • The Top Five Book Series for Young Adults
  • The Top Five Spyware Removal Systems
  • The Top Five Websites for Photographers
  • The Top Five Reasons you Should Play Fantasy Fo ...
  • The Top Five Jewelry Stores
  • The Top Five Tips for Planting a Garden
  • The Top Five Ways to Update your Home Without S ...
  • The Top Five Tips for Newlyweds
  • The Top Five Pets you Should Own
  • The Top Five Greatest NBA Players of All Time
  • The Top Five Places to Get a Student Loan
  • The Top Five Tax Mistakes People Commonly Make
  • The Top Five Steps on How to Avoid Credit Card ...
  • The Top Five Reasons to Vote During Elections
  • The Top Five Google Apps