Peanut butter is a yummy and healthy treat enjoyed by millions of people around the world, but there are some people who go beyond normal enjoyment of this delicious food.
They are your neighbors, your friends, and even members of your own household. They are good people leading normal, productive lives. But, hand them a giant spoon and open a jar of peanut butter, and their true reason for living becomes obvious.
They are the peanut butter junkies. And they cannot get enough of that gooey, peanuty fix. Are you one of them? Awareness is the first step. Here are the top 5 signs you may have more than an everyday relationship with peanut butter.
Oh, sure, there's nothing like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but if you find yourself slathering giant heaps of peanut butter onto a cold slice of pizza, or shoveling a gobbing mountain of the stuff into your mouth with one hand while delivering ice cream right behind it with the other hand, well, you may need professional help.
Most people have a preference of either crunchy or smooth peanut butter, but the addict will eat either variety with joyful, reckless abandon. The most serious junkie will even consume crunchy and smooth at the same time. When you have an addiction to peanut butter, you'll eat it regardless of how it comes. Goobers PB&J combo? Bring it on!
Don't mean to make anyone grimace here, but if you've gone on a golden buttery binge and your....byproduct....smells like peanut butter in the morning, you need immediate intervention by a trained professional.
You're at the point where most people would throw away the jar because it's mostly empty. But you can't. You just can't throw away perfectly good peanut butter.
So you begin a frantic scraping session, using anything you can find to harvest those last bits from the side of the jar. In the worst stages of peanut butter addicition, you may also find yourself licking the bottom of the lid when no is looking.
If you are a single person who lives alone, there is no normal reason for you to be buying a giant super tub of peanut butter the size of Manhattan.
You can tell yourself it's to save money, but you're just in denial. Face the truth and you are one step closer to...well....at least UNDERSTANDING why you have to buy enough peanut butter to feed Wisconsin.
This list will help you understand your crazy love for peanut butter. You could have worse addictions, and provided you are careful not to go out in public with a glop of the stuff on your chin or in the cracks between your fingers, you should have no trouble secretly maintaining your strange peanuty, buttery world.
select one here...